Opera House Emails
by WassailWotters
Summary: If our beloved Phantom of the Opera characters had email access, it might look something like this..
1. Part I

**Part I**

**From**: welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To**: castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com  
**CC**: prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject**: New Opera, Patron, and a Cool Quiz

After our Hannibal success, we have decided to try a slightly more difficult opera, Il Muto. We are currently assigning parts, so feel free to beg and grovel… we mean, audition…

In other news, we are please to say that we have acquired a new patron, le Vicomte de Chagny, who will be joining us for rehearsals next week. We feel certain that you will all find him an interesting addition to our community. His hair products have certainly made us into fans! Fans with shiny, raspberry-scented tresses!

Most importantly, we have recently discovered a rather neat quiz thing. We have filled it out, and encourage you all to do so as well, so we can learn a bit more about each other in the spirit of togetherness. :-)

_**Basic Info:**_

_Name?_ Gilles Lexi Andre; Richard Jean Firmin  
_Age?_ 45; 46  
_Eye color?_ brown; chocolate  
_Hair color?_ varying shades of grey  
_Height?_ 4'9''; 6'1''

_**Faves:**_

_Country?_ France, of course!  
_Food?_ Baguette  
_Movie?_ Breakfast at Tiffany's. That Audrey is such a dear!  
_Drink?_ A nice glass of milk  
_Animal?_ Sheep… French sheep…  
_Color?_ French aquamarine

**_Are you:_**

_Nice?_ We like to think we possess genial natures :-)  
_Sarcastic?_ We sure hope not!  
_Funny?_ Knock knock!

_**Finally:**_

_Do you remember your dreams?_ Yes, we dream of publicity, and queues all around the theater, and sometimes of milk and baguettes.  
_Do you believe in soulmates?_ Quite so.  
_Do you believe in love at first sight?_ Depends.  
_What was your favorite childhood toy?_ A brilliant red firetruck.  
_Thoughts on life?_ Have a scandal, and you're sure to have a hit!  
_Who do you want to be stuck on an island with?_ Firmin; Paris Hilton (sorry Andre)  
_What did you do before Opera?_ We invested in junk.. er, scrap metal.

PS. Who is leaving those roses with black ribbons all over the place? They're absolutely ghastly when they wilt. Pray, do at least clean them up..

Your Managers,  
-Andre & Firmin

"I had a dream.. such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more..."

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**From**: undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To**: frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject**: Lesson Tonight

My apologies, but I will unfortunately not be here tonight for our lesson. It has come to my attention that the fools who run my theater are casting La Carlotta as the lead. Fear not, I will go and er.. "settle" the matter with them.

-Your Angel of Music

"The Phantom of the Opera is there.. inside your mind!"

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**From**: frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To**: undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject**: RE: Lesson Tonight

Of course, my dear tutor! I do hope everything goes as planned! As ever, I eagerly await our next lesson!

Your Mask,

-Christine

"...angel of music..."

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**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** Introducing…

To my new friends at the Opera Populaire:

I am sure that you have heard the most fortunate news of my recent patronage of your charming opera house. Now, you are all very talented people (especially that cute brunette!), but I noticed during my recent visit an alarming phenomenon: _split ends!_

Yes, I know you must be as distressed as I am at the very suggestion, but take a deep breath and examine the ends of your hair. No, don't get too depressed! I know what you must be seeing: a seemingly incurable malady affecting your precious locks of hair.

But fear not, for with the help of my wonderful line of Vicomte Beautiful hair products, you too can have hair nearly as gorgeous and fluffy as mine! It may seem improbable, but after a few short years of faithful treatment with my shampoo, conditioner, gel, spray, other conditioner, special brushes, mousse, and little pink hair ribbons, your hair may even approach the caliber of mine!

Don't delay, order today! Free compact mirror possibly included if you are the lucky 100th customer… or that cute brunette…

- Raoul, le Vicomte de Chagny

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

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**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** squee!

Phantom, I am writing to you as the official president of the Phantom of the Opera Phangirls United Team (POPUT). We are a group dedicated to phangirling you to the fullest possible extent. POPUT will not let any of those nasty rumors about you (really, designing nooses, what kind of psycho would do that?) get in the way of our love for you.

Given this level of dedication, it would be really, really, really nice if you would let me into your lair, or give me some singing lessons, or write an opera for me! I am a lot prettier than that Christine, really; ask anyone around here. I also dance very well. Have you considered choreography? Really, it is all the rage. Composing is a little passé.

With utmost love and adoration,

-Meg Giry

P.S.: Even a rose would be great!

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

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**From:** divalady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** FW: New Opera, Patron, and a Cool Quiz

I do hope, you little toad, that you are not thinking about trying out for the part of the Countess. It's not that I'm worried that you're a threat, because you are certainly not, but I just wish you'll spare us the pain of hearing you croak such a lovely part. That part is meant for me and me only. Hands off!

The True Prima Donna,  
-La Carlotta

"Superior Singer"

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How's this? Love it? Hate it? Should we continue? Leave us a review!


	2. Part II

Oops, we forgot to include a disclaimer last time, so this is making up for it:

**Disclaimer:**Not ours.  
**Make-up Disclaimer:** Still not ours.

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**Part II**

**From: **maskseller(at)masksanonymous. com  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject: **New Items Now In Stock!

To our loyal customers:

Come in today and see the great new additions to our wide collection of masks for all occasions! Has your mask broken? Is it getting old? Has it gone out of fashion decades ago? Well, say goodbye to the paper bag with eyeholes, because our warehouse has every mask you will ever need!

In addition to the old classics, we have recently gotten in stock exciting new additions such as monkey masks, feathered masquerade masks, and a charming little one we have fondly dubbed the "Red Death."

Don't forget to order your mask today!

-Masks Anonymous Mask-Sellers

"Disguise yourself in style!"

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**From: **frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To: **divalady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject: **Your Threat

I am trying out for the part of the Countess, Carlotta. My angel of music has assured me that I fully deserve the part, and I have faith in his guidance! He was sent by my father to protect me, and I am ever so grateful for his help… -swoon-!

Once my angel… "speaks" with them… Andre and Firmin will see who truly deserves the lead role. Oh, my wonderful angel of music!

Hugs and Luvs,  
--Christine--

"…angel of music…"

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**From:** hotdates(at)matchmaker. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject: **Meet New People, FAST!

Looking for a date? Look no further! At matchmaker. com, you can find your dream man in 15 minutes or less!

Our spies… uh, we mean "research"… have shown that you might be interested in a musical man, which we have plenty of! You may also like sensitive, beautiful men, in which case you should contact one of our most popular clients, Foppy McFopperton!

With the help of matchmaker. com, your only problem will be deciding on a man!

-Matchmaker. com

"Where Lonely Hearts Meet (tm)"

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**From:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**CC:** castncrew(at) operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Mass E-mails

Really, I had hoped you can think of better things to do with your time and hours than sending out mindless mass e-mail quizzes that do nothing but clutter up our inboxes. If you continue this, I'm afraid I will have to have a word with the Opera Ghost about you all. He has ways of taking care of these kinds of things!

Please, for the sake of the poor inboxes, do think before sending out mass e-mails.

-Antoinette

"Don't just do it, _dance_ it!"

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**From:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**CC:** castncrew(at) operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: Mass E-mails

Why, isn't this the pot calling the kettle black! ;-)

All jests aside, we understand your concern, and will try to not to indulge our e-mail cravings.

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**From:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn!

Fantastic news, everybody! For the first time in six months, all three planets are appearing at the same time in the night sky! These flawless beauties shall be visible from precisely 12:04:37 AM to 12:04:56 AM to the naked eye.

M. Reyer, would you mind letting our fabulous cast and crew out of rehearsal early to witness this phenomenal sight?

This, ladies and gentlemen, is a twice-in-a-year opportunity! You would do well not to pass it up.

Your Managers :-)  
-Andre & Firmin

"I had a dream.. such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more..."

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**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: New Opera, Patron, and a Cool Quiz

**_Basic Info:_**

_Name?_ Marguerite Emilene Giry  
_Age?_ sweet 16  
_Eye color?_ green as the sky  
_Hair color?_ blonde!  
_Height?_ 5'6''

**_Faves:_**

_Country?_ I've always wanted to visit Narnia..  
_Food?_ Biscuits.. especially slightly burnt ones  
_Movie?_ Legally Blonde (plus both sequels!)  
_Drink?_ Earl Grey tea, with one and a half sugar cubes  
_Animal?_ I'm quite fond of sea turtles myself  
_Color?_ All shades of yellow, like my purty hair

_**Are you:**_

_Nice?_ Of course!  
_Sarcastic?_ nope!  
_Funny?_ Not really, but I know my idol must be… if only he would tell a joke for _me_… -sigh!-

_**Finally:**_

_Do you remember your dreams?_ Only sometimes -blushes-  
_Do you believe in soulmates?_ YES!  
_Do you believe in love at first sight?_ Uh huh.. I remember the first time I saw him.. he looked so handsome in his cape and mask! -swoon-  
_What was your favorite childhood toy?_ My first pair of pointe shoes  
_Thoughts on life?_ No thoughts in my head but thoughts of love..!  
_Who do you want to be stuck on an island with?_ Do you even have to ask?  
_What did you do before Opera?_ Nothing, ballet was my life.. now.. he is.. -contented sigh-

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

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**From:** Angelina(at)beautyunlimited. com  
**To:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Order Confirmation

This email is confirm that "Raoul, le Vicomte de Chagny" ordered:

12 Princess Pink Vintage Hair Ribbons

Your total is: 4999.99 francs.

These ribbons are guaranteed(I) to have been owned once by a genuine princess(II). Your order should come within 5-7 business days.

I. Well, _almost_ guaranteed.  
II. Or maybe one of her ladies-in-waiting. Or maids. Or pet doggies. But what's the difference, really?

"Beauty Unlimited (tm): helping every girl feel like a princess."

---------------------------------------------

Recent scientific experiments have shown a steady positive correlation between the number of reviews received and the speed with which the authors churn out new updates. So, if you guys aim for 5 (new) reviews, we'll aim for getting the next part out in 24 hours.


	3. Part III

Firstly. we're really, really, really sorry for the delay.. circumstances arose.. beyond our control.. please don't Punjab us..

Okay, so we may have taken a few liberties in Raoul's characterization, but we are really making fun of _everybody,_ not just Foppy McFopperkins. There was a sad lack of defense on poor Meg's part.. Let's hear it for our favorite blonde!

And now, without further ado, we present to you, ladies and gentlemen, the next installment of Opera House Emails!

**Disclaimer:** We know it's not ours, and yet, we wish it were.. oh God if we claim credit, what horrors wait for us.. in there, the plagiarizers'.. penitentiary? (ducks rotten veggies)

**Translation:** Not only do we not own the Phantom of the Opera, we also do not own the MySpace disclaimer which we, ah.. "creatively" modified for use in this chapter. -Sob!-

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**Part III**

**From: **newcomment(at)operaspace. com  
**To: **frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject: **New Comments on your OperaSpace!

Dear **Christine**,

You have received **2 **new comment(s) on your OperaSpace! Read them below.

From -**Meggy-**:

lol Christy I herd about ur fight wit Carlotta, thats sooo funny. like she could sing better than u!1! lol wutevs

From **La Carlotta, Prima Donna Diva**:

You little toads! If you think you will get away with this, you are very, very, very mistaken!1!one! Just wait and see who is the true star of this opera!

_Disclaimer: At OperaSpace we value your privacy. We have sent you this notification to facilitate your use as a member of the OperaSpace. com service. If you don't want to receive emails like this to your external email account in the future, change your OperaAccount Settings to "Do not send me notification emails."_

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**From: **undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To: **prettyinpink(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject: **Cool Thing  
**Attachments: **Punjab.exe (15 KB)

I found a neat thing when I was surfing the net and thought you might, ahem.. have fun with it. If you click on it within 20 seconds of receiving it you may get a free ruffled shirt!

Love from A Friend

P.S.: You might want to mention to those thick-headed fools who "run" my theater that a similar experience will befall their precious computer should they neglect to pay the Phantom his dues. Enjoy!

"The Phantom of the Opera is there.. inside your mind!"

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**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** LOST!

I'm normally not one for sending out unnecessary mass e-mails, but this is truly an emergency! I lost my favorite sparkly pen:-(

It's purple, with a shiny star on the top.. you probably don't care, but this pen has sentimental value.. it is very dear to me! I can't live without it! I heart it oh so much!1one!111two!

Soooooo… if any of you see it, please please please please please give it back! 5 francs reward, and you may take a ribbon of your choice from my collection.. no questions asked!

PS.. I really, really, really miss it!

- Meg -

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

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**From: **blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** FW: LOST!

Thanks to everyone to helped! My precious pen is once again safely in my possession! I really, really appreciate all you've done for me!1!1

Oh, and Monsieur le Vicomte, I looked up the information on that powder blue hair ribbon you picked.. it really is 100-percent silk with genuine pearls sewn on! Isn't that wonderful! -squeal-

Thanks again everyone!

- Meg -

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

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**From: **frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To: **blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**CC: **castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject: **RE: LOST!

Once again, I ask that you all refrain from cluttering up our inboxes with mass emails!

Meg, dear, I know that pen is very important to you (I remember when you went through that phase when you couldn't sleep unless you were holding it! Oh, you were darling, with Mr. Bearykins in one hand and the sparkly pen in the other… Oh yes, you simply must remind me to post that photo of you and Mr. Bearykins on the opera house website!), but no matter how important the matter seems, we all need to take a deep breath and think twice before sending out frantic mass emails! I hope this nonsense dies down soon, or I will consider more drastic measures.

-Antoinette

P.S.: Meggie darling, do remember to wash behind your ears when you take a bath tonight! I know how you tend to forget.

"Don't just do it, _dance _it!"

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**From:** overlooked(at)persiansrus. org  
**To:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** Job?

Gentlemen,

I would be most grateful if you'd offer me a job at your esteemed Opera Populaire. I am more than qualified for any position you might assign me to, too.. I am a man of many talents!

Besides, I hear that you have been having some problems with a certain "Opera Ghost." Isn't that correct? Now, you see, I may be able to aid in lessening the problem.. I'm not claiming to be able to fix it, but I might help delay any serious disasters for a little while for you to come up with a solution..

If that doesn't convince you, let me play the pity card. Ahem: don't you feel sorry for me that I was cut from the movie? Sometimes, I get so depressed I can't find the will to go on.. I mean, for heaven's sake I can't even get a job! If I can't get this post, I'm afraid I will have a mental breakdown..

So, the choice is in your hands, will you hire me?

Yours,  
Nadir Khan

"There's a reason I'm not called 'Apex.'"

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**From: **xoxgerikloverxox(at)phansunlimited. net  
**To: **blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject: **Step Away From My Man!

Look, you little blonde twit, you might think you're all that with your ballerina twirls, but you had better rethink your plan if you're going after _**my**_ Erik. My love for him knows no bounds, and I'm the only one in the world who really understands the inner torment he feels over his unfortunately sunburned face! I know he would **_never_** give the time of day to someone as obviously desperate as, but my soul-bond with him drives me to eliminate anyone as annoying to him as you must be. We are destined to be together, and as soon as he recognizes that fact I'm sure he'll have no problem with me demonstrating my authentic Punjab lasso replica (made with the infinite passion of my heart!) on _**you**_.

-xoxGeRiKlOvErxox-

"From the computer of the future Mrs. Gerik!"

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Wow.. 20 reviews! We're touched, really.. (and not just in the head). Now, let's see: getting more reviews makes us happy authors. Happy authors write faster. If we get at least 15 more reviews, we'll post the next part ASAP (and we promise there will be no "circumstances" this time!) So, pretty please?


	4. Part IV

**Disclaimer: **You can use your imaginations and pretend you are reading a clever and witty disclaimer here… it's a better use for your mind than phantasizing about Gerik! (note, that was author #2. Author #1 is a whole-hearted Gerik supporter)

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**From:** overlooked(at)persiansrus. org  
**To: **castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject: **Self-Introduction!

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Opera Populaire,

I am very glad to have recently joined your fine opera house! I am Nadir Khan and I am a new stage hand.

I would like to offer for your pleasure lending access to my extensive library of books! I have a great variety of both novels and non-fiction and I'd be more than happy to share them with my new friends here at the Opera Populaire.

Here is one book you may like. Email me back to reserve it if it has piqued your interest!

Tombstones and Roses: Hauntings Across Europe: This collection of short, ghost-related stories brings up the eternal question: do supernatural creatures exist, or are they simply psychopathic, tortured men hiding in underground lakes and torture chambers- I mean, products of the mind? There's only one way to find out, and it may or may not be reading this book.

-Nadir Khan

"There's a reason I'm not called 'Apex.'"

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**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: New Opera, Patron, and a Cool Quiz

Hi everyone! And sorry Mme Giry.. but Meg's putting me up to this.. please don't be unnecessarily cruel tomorrow during practice.. really, my body's just not meant to do a split!

_**Basic Info:**_

_Name?_ Christine Eloise Daae  
_Age?_ 16 and still unmarried.. I'm such a disgrace..  
_Eye color?_ blue-ish green.. like the sea where my brave hero went in to rescue my scarf for me.. :-)  
_Hair color?_ I'm a brunette, and proud of it.  
_Height?_ 5'7'', 2 inches shorter than my darling fiancé

_**Faves:**_

_Country?_ Sweden  
_Food?_ Swedish fish (yes, the candy. Whatever else could I mean?)  
_Movie?_ Pride and Prejudice.. Raoul's kinda like that Darcy fellow.. they're both so brave, and handsome, and rich, and oh I can just go on and on! -swoon-  
_Drink?_ Coffee.. I do live for caffeine.. It is the secret to my success!  
_Animal?_ I detest all animals; they're so.. icky..  
_Color?_ Blue, like the blue of my darling Raoul's eyes.

_**Are you:**_

_Nice?_ Some think I'm nice, others think I'm just clueless.. it all depends on your perspective.. and how much you're love with Gerik..  
_Sarcastic?_ no, not at all  
_Funny?_ Not really, but only because I don't speak up at all.. really, it's much better to spend the whole day with a shocked expression on your face..

_**Finally:**_

_Do you remember your dreams?_ In sleep he sang to me.. in dreams he came..  
_Do you believe in soulmates?_ yep, Raoul's my soulmate; he protects me from the evil yet extremely attractive man in my mirror.  
_Do you believe in love at first sight?_ Certainly not! I only started to love Raoul several years after we initially met! But now I see the mistake I made all those years, and he is my beloved fiancé.. -heart-!  
_What was your favorite childhood toy? _The scarf that Raoul fetched from the sea  
_Thoughts on life?_ Nope. I don't think. I simply… experience!  
_Who do you want to be stuck on an island with?_ My beloved Raoul.. I'm sure he could save us!  
_What did you do before Opera?_ My father went around and played music, so I just stayed home and played with Raouly-poo… he was so cute when he was little…

"…angel of music…"

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**From: **prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To: **undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject: **RE: Cool Thing

I hope you don't think that I am stupid and obsessed with ruffled shirts enough to open that virus you sent me! Well, anyways, I did get it off of my machine, but it took me over 10 minutes- nice work. Next time though, I'd appreciate it if you didn't make my computer screen continuously flash "Warning, warning, FOP ALERT!" I was truly offended by that. Really, I no longer feel warm and fuzzy inside. :-(

Perhaps we should form a friendship over our shared interest in computers. What do you say to putting aside our differences? I can even give you fashion advice (that black swishy cloak is sooo 1700s).

-Raoul, le Vicomte de Chagny

P.S.: Christine asked me to pass along a little message for you. You can find it here… have fun with it:)

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

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**From: **overlooked(at)persiansrus. org  
**To: **castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject: **New Book!

I have recently added some new books to my collection. Here is information about one; feel free to email me and reserve the book if you like what you see!

Weapon-Crafting For Beginners: Complete with easy-to-follow diagrams and handy informational guides, this book makes it easy to create your own versions of such classic weapons as the noose, the rack, and even the rare Punjab lasso. Just remember to keep your hand at the level of your eyes!

-Nadir Khan

"There's a reason I'm not called 'Apex.'"

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**From:** customerservice(at) romancenovels. com  
**To:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject: **Order Confirmation

This email is confirm that "Maguerite Emileen Giry" ordered:

**1 **The Complete Adventures of Princess and Prince Erik  
Your total is: 49.99 francs.

"Romance novels – escape the mundane and venture into the world of phantasy!"

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**From: **frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** overlooked(at)persiansrus. org  
**Subject: **Mass Email Etiquette

Mr. Khan, I understand that you are a new member of our community, but I would assume that you understand basic manners in sending out mass emails: that is, don't send them. If we want to know about the contents of your private collection, we will ask!

Does no one in their opera house understand basic manners?

-Antoinette Giry

"Don't just do it, _dance_ it!"

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**From:** overlooked(at)persiansrus. net  
**To: **frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**CC: **castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: Mass Email Etiquette

I have one more book that may interest this community! Remember, email me back, first come, first served. I am guessing this one may be popular.

Dealing with the Nag in Your Life: This is a helpful guide to avoiding the stresses that come along with having a nosy, bossy person in your life. Learn how to retain control of your mind, your temper, and your free will. Also includes some helpful tips on untraceable poisons.

-Nadir Khan

"There's a reason I'm not called 'Apex.'"

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**From:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org  
**Subject:** Announcing: The Opera Populaire's Chatroom of Grand Debauchery!

Well, maybe not quite "debauchery"...

Ladies and Gentlemen:

We are hosting a Chatroom Ball on the 17th of May, which is next week. In light of our recent victory over the Opera Ghost (we mean, has anyone heard from the man in days!), we believe that a night of celebration is in order! Now, at 8 PM on that day, we encourage you all to sign in on our new website – www. operapopulaire. com – with a pseudonym, and have fun chatting with your fellow cast and crew members. We hope that you will all get to know each other better after this e-Bal Masque!

You Managers,  
Andre & Firmin

P.S.: The only downside of this online ball is that you will have to provide your own punch and spike it yourself…

"I had a dream.. such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more..."

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**Authors' Note: **Next chapter will be the first special, so review (please?) and come back to read the Opera Populaire Masked Ball/Chatroom of Debauchery!

**Additional Authors' Note: **We had the idea of making another special later in the phic where readers can write in emails to the characters and they will reply. Would that break any ff. net rules? Do you guys like the idea?


	5. Part V Special Feature

**Note:** if, for some reason, this phic goes "poof" and disappears off the face of FFN, we will attempt to upload it elsewhere. So in case of an emergency, check our profile.

**Disclaimer:** The only thing PotO we own is a way over-played copy of the 2004 movie, and Author #1's prepared to defend it to the death. (-hearts- Gerry) Yes, it's rather pathetic that we have yet to read the books..

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**Part V – Special Features (aka Chatroom of Grand Debauchery) **

**_-Firmin-_**_ has entered the room. _

**_-Andre-_**_ has entered the room. _

**Andre: **this was a splendid idea!

**Firmin:** yes, truly genius!

**_-NotaNag-_**_ has entered the room._

**Firmin:** I do hope we'll have a good turn out!

**NotaNag:** I agree..

**NotaNag:** turn out is important in all dances, but exceptionally so in ballet

**_-Apex-_**_ has entered the room._

**Apex:** oh God

**Apex:** it's the Nagging One

**Apex:** this party's as good as over

**NotaNag:** I wouldn't nag if you'd just be a bit more mature

**NotaNag:** besides, that insult was uncalled for and you know it

**Apex:** was not :-P

**NotaNag:** was too!

**Andre:** oh, come now

**Apex:** nuh _uh!_

**Andre:** let's all be adults about it

**NotaNag:** yeah _huh!_

**_-StaroftheShow-_** _has entered the room._

**StaroftheShow:** oh hiya!

**StaroftheShow:** I'm not late, am I?

**Firmin: **I would say you're just in time, actually

**Apex: **whoever you are, you _must_ be better company than that monster

**NotaNag: **you're the one without any common courtesy!

**NotaNag: **when I was a young girl, growing up the countryside of France, my mother taught me manners

**NotaNag: **I learned to respect my betters and act with politeness towards everyone

**NotaNag: **people these days- especially _foreigners_- don't understand how to act with good manners

**NotaNag:** why, if only I was in charge of this establishment…

**_-GorgeousLocks- _**_has entered the room_

**GorgeousLocks: **hello everyone!

**Apex: **oh thank God

**Andre: **yes, I was rather beginning to fear for our party

**_-ToadHater- _**_has entered the room_

**Firmin: **don't worry, Andre, the ball will go on!

**ToadHater:** of course it will.. and better than ever, now that I am here!

**GorgeousLocks:** indeed.. who are you?

**Firmin: **this is a masked ball! we do not reveal our identities yet!

**GorgeousLocks: **but everyone else's seems obvious

**Apex: **not yours!

**NotaNag: **for once, I must agree.. I know many people with lovely hair. Meg, deary, could that be you?

**GorgeousLocks: **I am offended by that! None of their hairdos compares to mine!

**StaroftheShow:** hey, be right back, I need to grab a snack

**Andre:** hurry back, you don't want to miss the celebrations!

**_-StaroftheShow-_**_ has left the room._

**_-HiddenBeauty-_**_ has entered the room._

**HiddenBeauty:** hello everyone, I apologize for my lateness

**HiddenBeauty:** I trust I have not missed anything important?

**Apex:** no no, we're just trying to figure out who GorgeousLocks is, care to venture a guess?

**HiddenBeauty:** Hmm.. I think I have a pretty good idea who it is.. -wink wink-

**GorgeousLocks:** Oh yes? -blushes-

**HiddenBeauty:** Tell, do the words "Angel of Music" mean anything to you?

**GorgeousLocks:** Yes, it does! Now I'm certain I know who you are, too, HiddenBeauty ;-)

**HiddenBeauty:** Quite so.. hey.. after this.. wanna join me for an after-party?

**Firmin:** Ahem.. this is really not the celebration we had in mind, ladies and gents..

**GorgeousLocks:** Oh come now.. lighten up! Have some champagne..

**HiddenBeauty:** There's something I've been meaning to tell you

**GorgeousLocks:** ah oui?

**_-StaroftheShow-_**_ has entered the room._

**StaroftheShow:** back! What did I miss?

**HiddenBeauty:** Christine, I love you…

**StaroftheShow:** what?

**GorgeousLocks:** oh shush it, La Carlotta, no one cares about what you have to croak about it.. Christine, what did you mean?

**ToadHater:** hey… watch what you're saying!

**_-TheAmateur-_**_ has entered the room. _

**TheAmateur: **this looks like a nice little party!

**StaroftheShow:** who is that?

**Andre: **no asking, remember! but I admit I am curious, too…

**HiddenBeauty:** Nadir, is that you?

**Apex:** of course not!

**ToadHater:** is it Raoul?

**GorgeousLocks:** why would Raoul be an "amateur"!

**HiddenBeauty:** I should have known you'd take his side…

**TheAmateur:** I am much manlier than that fop!

**Firmin:** no name-calling, people, this is a friendly party!

**Andre:** indeed, in the spirit of community bonding :-)

**HiddenBeauty:** how… charming…

**_-LovesTaFlirt-_**_ has entered the room. _

**LovesTaFlirt:** oh, is everyone else here already?

**NotaNag:** it seems to be so

**LovesTaFlirt:** gee, I wonder which one is my idol…

**GorgeousLocks:** well, I know everyone loves me

**HiddenBeauty:** thanks to _my_ help

**ToadHater:** but I am the true figure of worship at this opera house!

**TheAmateur:** no one loves me, thanks to my 3rd-degree sunburn… -angst!-

**HiddenBeauty:** whine, whine.. you think you have it bad…

**LovesTaFlirt:** ooh! I know! Let's play 20 questions to guess who TheAmateur is!

**Firmin:** a brilliant idea! I'll start..

**Firmin:** are you a male?

**TheAmateur:** yes.

**StaroftheShow:** are you particularly attractive?

**TheAmateur:** some think that I'm devastatingly handsome.

**HiddenBeauty:** it's probably the fop!

**GorgeousLocks:** I resent that!

**HiddenBeauty:** of course you would.. who wouldn't defend their fiancé? pfft.

**HiddenBeauty:** I wonder.. can you sing?

**TheAmateur:** I try.. but I go flat on every other note, so no.

**GorgeousLocks:** so I guess it's not the creep who lurks behind 2-way mirrors in girls' dressing rooms…

**HiddenBeauty:** …

**GorgeousLocks:** what?

**HiddenBeauty:** I've never seen this vicious side of yet, and I must confess it is most off-putting.

**Andre:** ahem. moving on.. are you particularly fond of books?

**TheAmateur:** I supposedly have a large collection.. but no one knows what happened to it..

**NotaNag:** aha! so it's not the mass e-mailer either.. interesting..

**LovesTaFlirt:** Monsieur, do you have blonde hair?

**TheAmateur:** As a matter of fact, I do!

**StaroftheShow:** I know of only one man with blonde hair..

**HiddenBeauty:** that is! It's the fop.. aren't you? Confess!

**GorgeousLocks:** you're being particularly abusive today.. :-(

**HiddenBeauty:** when am I not abusive?

**GorgeousLocks:** umm..!

**TheAmateur:** No no, I'm not the pretty boy.. thank God.

**ToadHater:** Piangi, it's you, isn't it? Oh how absolutely exhilarating!

**StaroftheShow:** why are you so excited? Don't you hate Piangi?

**TheAmateur:** Nope. I, thankfully, am of a healthy weight.

**ToadHater:** Whatever do you mean? Piangi-kins isn't overweight!

**StaroftheShow:** so why are you defending him?

**GorgeousLocks:** bloop bloop bloop bloop

**HiddenBeauty:** GorgeousLocks, my dear, are you feeling alright?

**ToadHater:** definitely not! I -heart- him!

**GorgeousLocks:** everything's just peachy!

**GorgeousLocks:** I just found my favorite volumizing shampoo :-D

**StaroftheShow:** what in the world? Gah.. I'm sooo confused.. :-(

**Firmin:** I think it's safe to say that we're all confused..

**NotaNag: **next question, do you live in this opera house?

**TheAmateur:** one could say that

**ToadHater: **I have one.. what is your favorite possession?

**Andre: **yes-or-no questions only!

**Firmin: **we've broken most of the chatroom rules already, though…

**TheAmateur: **I will answer that… my favorite possession is a musical monkey

**GorgeousLocks: **a musical… monkey! what kind of possession is that?

**Apex:** that sounds familiar…

**StaroftheShow:** Erik, Angel of Music, is it really you?

**HiddenBeauty:** That's impossible. I'm Erik!

**TheAmateur:** Not exactly..

**GorgeousLocks:** What! Do you mean to say you're not Christine!

**HiddenBeauty:** Of course I'm not Christine! Aren't you Christine?

**GorgeousLocks:** No at all! I'm Raoul! I thought you knew!

**TheAmateur:** The thing is..

**Andre:** Is Christine even here?

**StaroftheShow:** Yeah, I'm here..

**GorgeousLocks:** But wait, La Carlotta loves these events

**HiddenBeauty:** For once, I agree with the fop. If you're not her, who's she?

**ToadHater:** You called?

**TheAmateur:** Oh nevermind..

**GorgeousLocks:** Dear Lord, La Carlotta! I thought you were that mutant!

**StaroftheShow:** Raoul, please don't..

**HiddenBeauty:** Understandable; we don't look all that different..

**GorgeousLocks:** D'oh! Well, as long as you know..

**StaroftheShow:** Raoul!

**LovesTaFlirt:** Sorry, but wait.. so TheAmateur, who exactly are you?

**TheAmateur:** As I was saying, I'm another version of Erik

**Firmin:** You're Gerik!

**Andre:** I knew it, I knew it!

**Apex:** I've heard of you! You're the one with legions of "phangirls"…

**TheAmateur:** that's a bit exaggerated…

**NotaNag:** no, it's not

**Firmin:** I must agree with NotaNag

**Andre:** and I, of course, with Firmin

**LovesTaFlirt:** so are you saying.. there are two of them!

**HiddenBeauty:** it… seems so…

**TheAmateur:** I am, of course, the more dashing and all-around better one

**ToadHater:** you can't even sing!

**TheAmateur:** well…

**HiddenBeauty:** and you're not actually disfigured… poser

**GorgeousLocks: **making you a talentless psychopath… yes, dashing indeed…

**TheAmateur:** at least Christine loves me more!

**StaroftheShow:** I really don't understand who you are!

**LovesTaFlirt:** Christine, he's that drop-dead gorgeous one in the movie!

**StaroftheShow:** the sexy beast! Ohh.. he was hot!

**GorgeousLocks:** Christine!

**StaroftheShow:** oops.. did I really say that?

**LovesTaFlirt:** Oh Gerik.. I love you!

**TheAmateur:** oh really? -flexes muscles-

**LovesTaFlirt:** if it doesn't work out with Christine, be sure to e-mail me at blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com!

**TheAmateur:** yes ma'am! -wink wink, nudge nudge-

**StaroftheShow:** but but.. Gerik.. don't you love me:-(

**TheAmateur:** I do! But you're going to run of with the no-good pretty boy and leave me broken-hearted and miserable, so I may as well have a sort of uh.. "insurance policy.."

**StaroftheShow:** nooo! I don't love Raoul..

**GorgeousLocks:** what!

**StaroftheShow:** sorry.. but I just can't stand the long-haired thing any longer..

**HiddenBeauty:** yes!

**TheAmateur:** score!

**HiddenBeauty:** wait… now which one of us is it that she loves?

**Firmin:** this might be a good time for the "ball" to end!

**Andre:** I agree.

-------------------------------------------------

Comments? Concerns? Complaints? Want to tell us it's so horrible that we should never attempt something like this again? You can direct that to the reviews page!

**Note from Author #2:** In the ending of this special, you might observe Author #1's true colors (the side of her which is a die-hard E/C "phangirl") showing through. Don't worry, I'll try to keep her in check; I'm just in it to make fun of everybody!

**Note from Author #1:** I resent that. I'm not really an Erik-"phan".. in fact, before the 2004 movie, I whole-heartedly supported Raoul. So see, I'm really a Gerik-"phan."


	6. Part VI

**Authors' Note:** We noticed some confusion over our identities in the reviews… yes, there are two of us! To clear this up, we decided to introduce each other to you.

**Author #1** is Eloise, the mad Gerik phangirl. She also rabidly ships Erik/Christine. Her hobbies include watching the PotO movie in English, then in French, then in English again, (and the bonus disc, you can't forget the bonus disc!) and also serenading people with songs from the movie. Don't worry, we have ways of making her stop when she gets too enthusiastic. She is very ticklish. She is also a part-time genius and ballerina.

**Author #2** is Elizabeth, the anti-PotO advocate. She refuses to read the books, claiming that they are a waste of her time, and we suspect she hasn't seen the movie yet (oh wait, nevermind, she says she has.. but we're doubtful because she can't remember anything from it). She find's Author #1's endearing habits slightly strange, and would take any opportunity to mock her, being the cruel person that she is (just kidding… please don't Punjab me). She is also brilliant, magnificent, and all-around awesome.

-------------------------------------------------

**Part VI**

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: RE: Cool thing

That was a nice try, but I knew your link to "Christine's message" was a virus! After all, if my Christine wanted to tell me something, she would simply call her Angel of Music, not deliver the message through an air-headed fop. I opened the link to make sure- but I did it on _your_ computer. Have fun, because I know you made the virus as hard to disable as you could.

Also, I apologize for hurting your precious feelings with the "FOP ALERT" virus, but I'm sure you'll agree that seeing "PSYCHOPATH PERVERT MIRROR-STALKER" displayed on the computer screen in giant font is rather hurtful as well. However, it really doesn't have the same succinctness or ring to it…

-Erik

P.S.: I think we have moved beyond the juvenile games of computer-virus sending. Truce?

"The Phantom of the Opera is there.. inside your mind…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** A Favor  
**Attachments:** reddeath.vbs

Christine, your dear tutor would ask of you but one favor: Go onto that fop's- I mean, your fiancé's- computer and open the attached program. Don't tell him you did it!

Thank you, dearest.

"The Phantom of the Opera is there.. inside your mind…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org  
**Subject:** Who Loves Bubble Gum?

Answer: Everyone does!

We are pleased to announce that a company which we ourselves started in the early days of our entrepreneurship, Bubbly Goodness Inc., has come out with a new flavor of gum! Since starting the business, we have passed on ownership to a nephew of Firmin's, but we are still intimately connected with the company (and we get a cut of the profits), so we are selling their products through mail-order to this Opera House.

The latest flavor is blueberry, and it joins an extensive line already featuring such delicacies as pomegranate, seaweed, rum, roast beast, cheddar, oatmeal, and the old favorite: Pure Sugar (tm).

Email us back to receive an order form today!

Your Managers,  
Andre and Firmin

"I had a dream.. such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more..."

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** prettypirouettes(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** My Undying Love and Devotion

My darling La Sorelli,

Mere words cannot express my feelings – oh, such strong feelings – for you, so I have taken the liberty of writing you a poem.

From the moment I first saw you,  
In your tutu of powdery blue,  
Twirling away across the stage,  
Showing off your youthful age,  
I knew you were a jewel to behold,  
The thought struck me, it was ever so bold!  
And with such a wit, you're surely smart,  
And have thus captured my heart.  
My loveliest of lovelies, darling,  
Your eyes shine with a light so sparkling,  
It's a sign from the Heavens above  
That I am forever bound you to love.  
Oh! That love's fleeting spell!  
Eternally in my heart you dwell.

Lovingly Yours,  
Philippe

"Everybody loves a well-educated man!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettypirouettes(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** FW: My Undying Love and Devotion

Eeeeek! Oh-em-gee, Meg! Do you think he likes me! What do I do, what do I do! Should I reply? Does that seem too forward? Do you think this is some sort of sick practical joke? Help me!1!11!112! You know.. he's soooo handsome! And his eyes.. they're soooo dreamy! Meeeeg… what do I doooooo?

-Sori

"Coupé, coupé, jeté, jeté, assemblé!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject: **RE: A Favor

Angel of Music, I don't know how to tell this to you, but… the things that I said in that chatroom… well, I wasn't thinking properly. You see, when I went down to get my snack, I saw some of the ballerinas in the kitchen. They were fixing these drinks that looked very good, so I took one when they offered it to me. Well, I ended up having several (they really tasted excellent!), and I can't say I remember much of the night after that… However, I did look in the chat log that Andre & Firmin posted on the website.

I can tell I said some foolish things- which of course I never usually do!- and I apologize for deceiving you. I still love Raoul… how could I not? He is my dear fiancé who saved my scarf when we were young! Oh, how wonderful he is!

So, my tutor, I ask that you forget what I said last night. I am so embarrassed! Mortified, really! But I know my Raoul will save me from any nasty rumors. As an apology, I will do as you requested. Isn't it sweet that you and Raouly-dearest get along so well that you would write a cute little program for him!

Luv (but not like that!),  
Christine

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** A Poem For My Christy-poo

Christine, my dearest, my turtledove,

On the advice of my brother Philippe I shall write you a love poem! He claims that it worked so well on La Sorelli, and I know you deserve the best even more than she does… -heart-! Philippe suggested a sonnet, but I am a master of a much more sophisticated verse.

ahem…

There once was a girl named Christy  
When she sung, peoples' eyes got misty  
She was lovely, for sure  
And many men loved her  
But Raoul was the only one she kissed-y!

Your Pookie-tootles,  
Raoul

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** balletrats(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject: **Today's Rehearsal

Ballerinas,

I am very disappointed in many of you after today's astonishingly bad performance! The number of you who wobbled around, claiming to have headaches, was horrific. I expect much better performance from my ballerinas in the future. I suggest you practice your pirouettes and fouettes tonight so that you are better prepared for tomorrow's lesson.

--Mme. Giry

"Don't just do it, _dance_ it!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire.  
**Subject: **RE: A Favor

My Dear Protégé,

If you are worried that I do not return your sentiments, let me assure of my affections, my ardent love, the adoration which blossoms like the de-thorned roses I seem to have so many of, along with endless black ribbons, for you.

Ever since I started to spy on you through the two-way mirror in your dressing room since you were a wee seven-year-old.. ahem. Somehow that sounds a tad wrong.

Let me rephrase that. From the time when I started teaching you my music, gave you everything I had, poured my soul into making you an acclaimed diva, and made you address me as "Master".. er.. that doesn't sound right either.

The bottom line is: you belong to me, and only me!

Your Master,  
O.G.

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject: **FW: A Favor

Oh Raouly-poo!

He frightens me so! Save me from him, please! He's such a perverted monster!

And yet, I'm strangely attracted to him… umm… I didn't mean that.

Please, if you love me, banish this unending night! And, if you can, also consider cutting your hair…

Your damsel in distress,  
Chrissie

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire, com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny .net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org  
**Subject:** RE: New Opera, Patron, and a Cool Quiz

Dear Manager, I'd have hoped you'd find something better to do than sending out brain-dead mass e-mails. As such, I was slightly amused by the quiz, so I'm not going to kill you just yet.

**_Basic Info: _**

_Name?_ Erik Matthew Charles Ward Destler  
_Age?_ it really depends on the production  
_Eye color?_ a nice mixture of red and yellow  
_Hair color?_ blonde -cringes-  
_Height?_ 6-feet-plus of manly-muscle

**_Faves: _**

_Country?_ I have no allegiances.  
_Food?_ I don't require food.  
_Movie?_ Beauty and the Beast. I hope the significance is obvious.  
_Drink?_ I don't drink either… but in some "phanfics," a nice glass of quality wine  
_Animal?_ The rats that keep me company in the cellars below  
_Color?_ Black. Duh.

**_Are you: _**

_Nice?_ Have we met?  
_Sarcastic?_ Oh dear God, I sure hope not.. -sarcasm drips-  
_Funny?_ I seem to have developed a morbid sense of humor… probably from reading all those entries to the PFN Morbidity Contests…please.. I'm not going to dig up Raoul's rotting body and kiss his non-existent lips!

**_Finally: _**

_Do you remember your dreams? _I don't sleep either, you dimwits.  
_Do you believe in soulmates?_ Take a wild guess there.  
_Do you believe in love at first sight?_ I first saw Christine when she was 6, so… no. But she holds a special place in my heart nonetheless.  
_What was your favorite childhood toy?_ That paper-mache monkey they showed in the 2004 movie, well, it was my _only_ toy..  
_Thoughts on life?_ Strangling people is an excellent pastime  
_Who do you want to be stuck on an island with?_ A boat-building expert.  
_What did you do before Opera?_ I played the lead in a gypsy freak-show.

Yours,  
O.G.

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

--------------------------------------

Please review, it makes us incredibly happy… and incredibly happy authors write more! 


	7. Part VII

**Disclaimer:** Roses are red, violets are blue; we don't own PotO, and neither do you.

-------------------------------------------------

**Part VII**

**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** You evil, evil man

Eeeee! How dare you threaten my dear, kind, naïve, wishy-washy, you-get-the-point Christine? I'll have you know that if you do not cease this abuse immediately, I will be forced to.. umm.. take actions as soon as I finish blow-drying my hair.

- De Chagny

"I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: You evil, evil man

My dear wittle foppity fop,

I'm afraid that such coarse language does not become one as delicate as you. Please reword your e-mail, and I will gladly get back to you on that.

O.G

PS. I think you may want to switch conditioners; your hair's starting to frizz.

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** The Fiend Beneath Us

I know that many of us in this community are aware of the presence of the so-called "Opera Ghost." However, I am worried that you do not know his true nature. This "Opera Ghost" is no supernatural, powerful force; in fact, he is a whiny psychopath who likes to hide in the basement and perve on women through mirrors. If we cease these ridiculous payments to him and drive him out, we will be a much safer opera house. As it is, his unbalanced mind might grow even more feeble and lead him to stealthily kill us all through use of his sooper-sekrit tunnels. He wouldn't even spare my beautiful face (and hair)! Join me by signing the petition located outside of the ballerinas' dressing room (not that I have ever lurked around there before!).

Thank you,  
Le Vicomte de Chagny

"I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**CC:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: The Fiend Beneath Us

My most esteemed Monsieur le Vicomte,

Please note that, as I have a (at)operapopulaire. com e-mail address, I am also part of the "castncrew" mailing list. Thus, it might be in your best interest not to go through with this plan, now that I know about it.

And a word of warning to my dear managers, I'd like you to double my salary from now on, or a disaster beyond your comprehension will occur.

Yours,  
O.G.

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** That Nasty Petition!

Dear Mr. Phantom, sir,

I am writing to offer my support to your tragic plight! I know you are just a sad and misunderstood guy and you have done nothing to deserve the insults of this meanie (although he is a pretty-haired meanie!). We phangirls at POPUT are fully in favor of your staying at the opera house 4ever!1! To take a stand against the petition, we signed it with a bunch of really funny fake names like "U. R. Dum"! Isn't that clever?

You know, if you would ever like to stop by and, say, watch the ballet rehearsal, I'm sure you would find me—I mean, all of us—very cute and dateable!

Hearts from,  
Meg

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** FW: RE: The Fiend Beneath Us

Everyone,

Do not panic! It is simply a hoax.. simply a hoax.

After carefully scrutinizing the e-mail from "O.G." we are certain it is not from the real Opera Ghost. If you read his last line carefully, he says "a disaster beyond your _comprehension_ will occur." Any loyal phan knows that the correct phrase is "a disaster beyond your _imagination_ will occur." Therefore, we are positive as protons that it is not from the Opera Ghost, or even a relatively informed phan, and we all know that those are the most dangerous.

Your loving Managers,  
Andie & Firmie

"I had a dream.. such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more..."

-------------------------------------------------

From: overlooked(at)persiansrus. org  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Selling: Persian Rugs!

Dear all,

As some of you may know, I have recently started a rug-making business, and would most appreciate your patronage.

To start, I have been making genuine Persian rugs – to some they may resemble rag-rugs, but I assure you, they are all handmade by a real Persian, yours truly!

Now, they take about a week to make, so be sure to place your order early! I imagine they will be approximately fifty thousand francs each. You may think to yourself "golly gee! That's forty more than ones made by true experts!" but don't worry, the craftsmanship is unquestionably superior.

Looking forward to doing business with you all,  
Nadir Khan

"There's a reason I'm not called 'Apex.'"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** divalady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny .net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org  
**Subject:** RE: New Opera, Patron, and a Cool Quiz

I have noticed a new fad in taking this little quiz that has been circulating. Well, as we all know, fads are not _truly_ stylish until I, La Carlotta, follow them. You can rest assured, because I will now take this quiz. I know you are dying to know more about moi.

_**Basic Info:**_

_Name?_ La Carlotta is my stage name  
_Age?_ a true lady never reveals her age! But I am young and beautiful, of course  
_Eye color?_ the most blue of the blues  
_Hair color?_ chestnut brown, like all the Spanish/Italian ladies'  
_Height?_ perfect!

_**Faves:**_

_Country?_ le home country, France  
_Food?_ anything suitably gourmet… caviar is nice  
_Movie?_ _Chicago  
__Drink?_ some champagne in an elegant fluted glass  
_Animal?_ songbirds  
_Color?_ royal purple!

_**Are you:**_

_Nice?_ superstars don't have to be nice to please fans  
_Sarcastic?_ superstars don't have to be sarcastic to please fans  
_Funny?_ superstars don't have to… oh, never mind

_**Finally:**_

_Do you remember your dreams? _I dream of glory and wake to fame! Oh wait.. it's not a dream!  
_Do you believe in soulmates?_ the stage is my only love  
_Do you believe in love at first sight?_ of course; thousands of people experience it when they see me!  
_What was your favorite childhood toy?_ my toy microphone  
_Thoughts on life?_ the worth of a person can be measured by the number of their fans  
_Who do you want to be stuck on an island with?_ someone who would properly appreciate my wonderfulness  
_What did you do before Opera?_ I trained for Opera

"Superior Singer"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Oops..

As all of you know, Mlle Daaé disappeared tonight right before the opening of Il Muto, and La Carlotta had to take her place at the last minute. It seems as if we have underestimated the Opera Ghost, and in his anger, he has taken our leading soprano.

We now ask you to form an angry, irrational lynch mob, and storm his lair under the Opera House to attempt to recover her. Thank you, and congratulations on tonight's fabulous performance!

Your Slightly Concerned Managers,  
Andre & Firmin

PS. Dear Opera Ghost, if you are reading this: know that we do not mean any of the above… pretty please don't kill us?

"I had a dream.. such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more..."

-------------------------------------------------

**Authors' Note: **We apologize for not updating sooner! First there was the elephant incident, followed by the flying ninja force and the toxic pudding, and we just got distracted. We're hard at work on chapter 8 now, though. Please review and let us know how we're doing, and we'll do our best to avoid further life-threatening situations… gee, that glacier's getting awfully close..


	8. Part VIII

**Disclaimer:** We do not own the Phantom of the Opera… maybe if we did, our friends wouldn't ridicule our "phanphiction"!

-------------------------------------------------

**Part XIII**

**From:** divalady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny .net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org  
**Subject:** Your Darling "Star"

Don't bother hunting down the Opera Ghost, because _I_ am the one who is holding your Christine captive. You will not get her back until you agree to my list of demands:

- La Carlotta will receive the lead role in every opera  
- One thousand francs will be spent each year on publicity for La Carlotta  
- La Carlotta will get a large raise  
- La Carlotta will get a personal hair stylist, manicurist, and fashion designer… like little pets…  
- You will tell everyone you know the following message: "La Carlotta is the bestest singer ever!"

Further demands will be made if you make this transaction a difficult one. You have been warned!1!11!

"Superior Singer"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny .net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org  
**Subject:** Christine Daaé

Dear all,

Thank you for the lack of help in finding our leading star. However, we are pleased to announce that we have recovered her safely. Unfortunately, we have realized that her voice isn't actually all that nice, and are demoting her from the leading soprano position. La Carlotta, the most wonderful singer the world has ever known, will resume the position which was wrongly taken from her.

We admit, the only reason we cast Mlle Daaé was due to our patron, le Vicomte de Chagny's urging. It has recently come to light that she has been… uh… entertaining him personally as well as onstage, and thus doesn't actually possess the ability to be the lead.

Your Managers,  
Andre & Firmin

"I had a dream.. such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** FW: Christine Daaé

My darling Christine,

I cannot believe you would betray me! I thought I had finally found someone to love me… yeah, so you called me a psychopath and claimed to despise me until the end of eternity, big deal… women always say the opposite of what they mean…

I am truly hurt by your actions… you and the fop… it's just so wrong!

However, I do not care. Since nowhe cannot help further your career, whereas I can, I do hope that you will see it is best for you to return to me, your teacher, protector, guardian, stalker, er… I didn't mean that…

-Your Angel of Music

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; bigbrotha(at)dechagny .net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org  
**Subject:** FW: Christine Daaé

Dear gods, such slander! I must make it clear that there is nothing, I repeat, nothing, going on between Mlle Daaé and I. I am shocked and insulted that you would even think such a thing!

le Vicomte de Chagny (who is not about to marry a common chorus girl)

"I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression (at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** prettyinpink (at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: FW: Christine Daaé

Raoul! What do you mean? Do you not love me anymore? Do you not wish to marry me anymore? Whatever are you talking about? Ohh.. I am so dreadfully confused! Perhaps I shall ask my Angel of Music about this… he's sure to have an answer for me!

-Christine

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** divalady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** FW: Christine Daaé

There, worded just like you asked. Good?

-A&F

"I had a dream.. such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** Auditions

Hello my pretties.. umm.. I mean, dear all:

As you know, we shall be performing Faust for the next opera. I have temporarily suspended La Sorelli for getting drunk and sneaking out with a certain Comte, who shall remain unnamed, during the performance of Il Muto, so she will not be dancing the lead.

Whoever feels that she, or he, can dance the part should come tomorrow evening for try-outs. Please bring your own dancewear, as the last time I lent out things.. well, it was just not pretty.

-Mme Giry, aka Dancer Extraordinaire

"Don't just do it, _dance_ it!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny .net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org  
**Subject:** Exciting Opportunity For Star-Gazing!

Dear all,

We are very thrilled to announce that a meteor shower is approaching and will make a spectacular sight in the night sky tomorrow night! We encourage all of you to join us in witnessing this extraordinary phenomenon! Also, as a courtesy to all night-time stargazers, we respectfully request that you close your shutters when turning on indoor lights to avoid light pollution. With your help, we can all have a wonderful night of meteor-watching!

Luv,  
Andre and Firmin

"I had a dream.. such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more…"

-----------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** A Proposal

I know we have had many… differences of opinion… in the past, but I must admit, Monsieur, that you do have a talent for programming viruses. One wonders if you picked that up at beauty school, as well. Anyway, I would like to propose a collaboration of sorts. Normally I would never consider even a temporary truce, but desperate times call for desperate measures. My inbox is suffocating under the weight of those bumbling "managers"' emails.

If you are willing to join me in a mission to shut down Andre and Firmin's mass-emailing hobby, meet me in Box 8 (since there is now a nauseating raspberry conditioner smell in Box 5… although, your hair's much less frizzy now; I must commend you) at 20:00 tonight. This is O.G., over and out.

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind…"

-----------------------------------------------

**From:** bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** prettypirouettes(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** Apologies

My darling Sori,

I'm so so so so sorry for getting you into trouble! As an expression of my regret, I have written you the following poem, I do hope it is angsty enough for the occasion:

I  
Am so  
Sorry; my sorrow,  
Like, it bleeds  
Crimson!(one!1!1!)

But really, if they're going to suspend you despite your obvious talent, I think you shouldn't bother to stick with them. Come marry me! I'll take you to Rome! You can sing at a real opera house there!

Lovingly,  
Philippe

"Everybody loves a well-educated man!"

-----------------------------------------------

**From:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** Your audition

Dear Mlle Daaé,

Thank you for taking the time to try out last night. However, as I feel that the Prima Ballerina should at least know the basic ballet steps, I cannot cast you in the lead.

Do not take this as a rejection, although, if you want to be technical about it… it is. You see, just because you're cast as one of the dozen simpering maids does not say any less about your dancing abilities. It is rather that I believe you will learn and experience more from that role…

Ookay.. even Meg, poor naïve girl, wouldn't buy that… so yes, I think you suck, and should just stick to singing.

Mme. Giry

"Don't just do it, _dance_ it!"

-----------------------------------------------

**From:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org  
**Subject:** ProNotes (tm)

Dear, fabulous peeps,

We have recently discovered a delightful new Internet gadget, ProNotes. com! It allows you to send anonymous messages to your fellow friends and family :-)

So, when you're not sleeping, eating, busy with rehearsals, running off with rich nobles, or "visiting" deformed musical geniuses, we ask you to please go to their website, and write a couple of uplifting, cheery, spunky, and generally peppy notes to other members of our blossoming community.

Luv,  
Andre and Firmin

-----------------------------------------------

**Authors' Note:** Review, or else Philippe will write you a love poem! Anyways, next chapter shall be another special feature, featuring various ProNotes from our beloved characters. So, for every review we get, we'll write one ProNote; sound fair? (And it doesn't count to send us spam reviews! Although.. we do -heart- spam...)


	9. Part IX Special Feature

**Authors' Note: **For those of you unfamiliar with the phenomenon of the ProNote, one usually writes an anonymous note praising another person or telling them something uplifting. It sounds okay in theory, but then comes the time when you get the notes written to you and spend some time obsessed with finding out who wrote you that weird one and signed it "Guess Who!" No, we're not bitter at all. Anyway, we digitalized it for use in this special.

**Disclaimer:** We do not own (a) Phantom of the Opera, (b) the general idea of ProNotes, (c) Gerik, (d) a bottle of Vicomte Beautiful shampoo (really! We swear! Of course that isn't Mango-Eucalyptus Breeze you smell!), or (e) the entire universe. But we're working on the last one. (And author #1's working on that third item.)

-------------------------------------------------

**Part IX**

**From:** message(at)pronotes. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** New ProNote!

Dear Christine, someone has left the following ProNote for you:

_Hey sweetie! Honey-buns! Pookie-toodles!_

_I miss u… you've been gone an awfully long time for your "voice lesson"…  
__I'm beginning to think you don't wuv me anymore… :-(_

_Bundles of Luvs,  
__Guess whooo…_

Disclaimer: We at ProNotes (tm) are not responsible for the content of any ProNotes we may transfer. Do not sue. Please.

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** message(at)pronotes. com  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** New ProNote!

Dear Erik, someone has left the following ProNote for you:

_Monsieur le Fantôme,_

_Know that you are not alone, and very, very loved.  
I, for one, am hopelessly in love with you…_

_Would you please take me away from this dreaded opera house and down to your dungeons below? Pretty please?_

_Wuvs from,  
__Your secret lovah_

Disclaimer: We at ProNotes (tm) are not responsible for the content of any ProNotes we may transfer. Do not sue. Please.

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** message(at)pronotes. com  
**To:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** New ProNote!

Dear Raoul, someone has left the following ProNote for you:

_Vicomte Fop,_

_I must admit, under much duress, that… well… okay, I like your hair. A lot._

_Will you please send me a sample of your Vicomte Beautiful products? _

_I have a feeling my darling young protégé will appreciate a lavender smell more than a dingy muskrat scent. You may leave them in Box 5._

_-Your Potential Customer_

Disclaimer: We at ProNotes (tm) are not responsible for the content of any ProNotes we may transfer. Do not sue. Please.

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** message(at)pronotes. com  
**To:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** New ProNote!

Dear Meg, someone has left the following ProNote for you:

_Hey gurlfreind!_

_Congratz on gettin teh lead in Faust! Lyk, tats sooooo kewl! Oh-em-gee, el-oh-el, lyk, ur gonna get 2 were tat realy kewl dress!1!1!1!11 R u exited 4 rehersale? Dun wori, u'll b amasine on staig!_

_From,  
__Gues whoo!_

Disclaimer: We at ProNotes (tm) are not responsible for the content of any ProNotes we may transfer. Do not sue. Please.

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** divalady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To: **welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** Obvious Problems!

Managers,

I am writing to inform you that _clearly_ there are some major problems with your recommended ProNotes site. Their service must not be working properly at all, since they have neglected to register _any_ ProNotes directed towards me. As I am the world-renowned and widely admired star of your opera house, I imagine that hundreds of ProNotes have sadly failed to be delivered to my inbox. Hurry and fix this problem. My personal secretary grows bored waiting for more fan mail to answer.

-La Carlotta

P.S.: Should this problem continue for much longer, I will be forced to contemplate resigning from your latest opera.

"Superior Singer"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** message(at)pronotes. com  
**To:** divalady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** New ProNote!

Dear La Carlotta, someone has left the following ProNote for you:

_La Carlotta, diva, wonder of the stage,_

_How much we appreciate your angelic singing! It has brought thousands to our opera house. Truly, you are to thank for our prosperity and the opera's "populaire-ity" (Ha! Ha! We crack ourselves up sometimes). We beg of you to continue gracing us with your beautiful presence._

_From,_

_yet more of your devoted admirers_

Disclaimer: We at ProNotes (tm) are not responsible for the content of any ProNotes we may transfer. Do not sue. Please.

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** message(at)pronotes. com  
**To:** overlooked(at)persiansrus. net  
**Subject:** New ProNote!

Dear Nadir, someone has left the following ProNote for you:

_My dearest Stage Hand,_

_I have often watched you at work and noticed how wonderfully prepared you are. My respect for you only increased when I saw the wonderful craftsmanship of your rugs. Even your mass emails have become endearing to me._

_Nadir, I am not a brave enough woman to tell you who I am, but I want you to know that you are not entirely overlooked._

_Luvvies from,  
__Your Secret Admirer_

_P.S.: You also have a cute butt._

Disclaimer: We at ProNotes (tm) are not responsible for the content of any ProNotes we may transfer. Do not sue. Please.

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** message(at)pronotes. com  
**To:** prettypirouettes(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** New ProNote!

Dear La Sorelli, someone has left the following ProNote for you:

_Sori, dearest, light of my life,_

_I expect that you won't be able to tell who this ProNote is from, considering how sneaky I have been. Don't be alarmed, I only wish you well. Here is a poem for you, my buttercup:_

_S is for her shining smile  
__O is for her ornery side, endearing as always,  
__R is for her rambunctious nature  
__E is for her effervescence  
__L is for her lovely leaps  
__L is also for her luminescent charms  
__I is for her image, always beautiful_

_Lurve from someone… you probably won't know who…_

Disclaimer: We at ProNotes (tm) are not responsible for the content of any ProNotes we may transfer. Do not sue. Please.

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettypirouettes(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** "Sneaky" Anonymous ProNote

O RLY?

"Coupé, coupé, jeté, jeté, assemblé!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** message(at)pronotes. com  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** New ProNote!

Dear Erik, someone has left the following ProNote for you:

_My dear teacher, master, the love of my life…_

_Yes, I have realized, finally, that I am completely, head over heels in luv with you. I don't know when it hit me, but I do think it has something to do with a whiff of your new shampoo… it's simply delightful!_

_Love,_

_Your obedient student_

Disclaimer: We at ProNotes (tm) are not responsible for the content of any ProNotes we may transfer. Do not sue. Please.

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** message(at)pronotes. com  
**To:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** New ProNote!

Dear Raoul, someone has left the following ProNote for you:

_My most esteemed Vicomte,_

_That sample of your newest conditioner is, in a word, sublime._

_I must congratulate you on that light, lavender scent. It is most heavenly. My soon-to-be fiancée agrees. She was so pleasantly shocked by it that her expression changed, if only for half a second, before resuming its normal condition. I do hope this is a sign that she is finally warming up to me!_

Disclaimer: We at ProNotes (tm) are not responsible for the content of any ProNotes we may transfer. Do not sue. Please.

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** FW: New ProNote!

Darling Lotte,

I know I am extremely paranoid, overly protective, probably overreacting, and a little psycho.. er.. ignore that last bit..

But really, would you happen to know who this future fiancée is that OG is referring to? I thought for a moment, forgive me for my presumptuousness, that it was you, I immediately realized that it can't possibly be, for you are engaged to me, the prettiest nobleman Paris has ever seen.

Regardless, I am still rather curious.. Perhaps he loves another woman?

Luvs,  
Raoulsies

"I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** FW: FW: New ProNote!

Oh Erik!

Is 't possible? Are you truly in love with another woman? Is that why you're starting to use aftershave? And comb your wig? And darn your socks? Say it ain't so!

Ohh.. I would simply die without you.. perhaps land myself in a mental institution.. do you really want to be responsible for that? I can't believe you would do something like this to me, you cheating bastard!

Lovingly yours,  
Christine

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: FW: FW: New ProNote!

Christine,

Must I have such an excuse to want to look purty sometimes? Honestly, you opera singers, always overreacting! Say one little thing and they start warbling songs about weeping willows…

That aside, dear Christine, the sentiments I have expressed on occasions in the past are, as ever, still true. I could never love another, for you are my only obsession- I mean, soulmate!

"Luvs and hugs," as they say,  
Your Angel of Music

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** FW: RE: FW: FW: New ProNote!

Meg,

Oh no, oh no, oh noes! What should I do? He says he still lurves me, but the things he said about overreacting… do you think he's hiding something? I bet he's having an affair with another singer! Did you see how he talked about "opera singers"? Meg, what should I do?

Should I stay with Raoul? I know he loves me almost as much as his hair, but…

O! I would be desolate without my cutey-patootie cuddlebuns- I mean, um, my esteemed teacher! I shall stay as a student to him, for sure… I won't let this other woman tear us apart!1! I am stronger than that! I am a _soprano!_ If all else fails, I can always sing a high, high, high G until all the glass in his lair breaks. Wait, does he have any glass?

Meg, my friend and confidante, what should I do?

Luvies from,  
Christine

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** message(at)pronotes. com  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** New ProNote!

Dear Erik, someone has left the following ProNote for you:

_Opera Ghost,_

_I have to admit that I am feeling a bit disillusioned—I always thought you were the strong, silent type, but a recent email has given me a glimpse of a side of you I didn't know existed. I had no idea you were such a wimp- I mean, a total romantic. And what are these rumors I have been hearing about a contract for shampoo commercials?_

_- your local POPUT representative_

_P.S.: If things don't work out with you-know-who, I suppose there is always room in my life for a sensitive man…_

Disclaimer: We at ProNotes (tm) are not responsible for the content of any ProNotes we may transfer. Do not sue. Please.

-------------------------------------------------

**Authors' Notes: **Well, the chapter may be a bit late, but there is plenty of it! I think we have a record word count. Also, thank you lovely people for giving us 100+ reviews! No, really you're great. Give yourselves a round of applause. Go on. Do it. And review while you're at it!

PS. Bonus points to all who gets the _Othello_ references (there are 2)!


	10. Part X

**Disclaimer:** _Still_ not ours. What a shocker!

-------------------------------------------------

**Part X**

**From:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operappopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org  
**Subject:** April Snow!

Dear all,

We have been, as we're sure you have been as well, pleasantly surprised by the furry of snow on the first day of April this year. As a joyous celebration of this event, we ask you all to complete this following sentence and express your hope for the year to come.

April snow brings: muchos dineros!

A&F

"I had a dream.. such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** divalady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operappopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org  
**Subject:** RE: April Snow!

April snow brings: adoring fans.

"Superior Singer"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operappopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org  
**Subject:** RE: RE: April Snow!

Kewl! Ths looks lyk funn!

April snow brings: drop-dead gorgeous musical geniuses!  
-Megsies

PS, La Carlotta, can you stand to be a little less dull sometimes? The predictability… it burnses…

"Cute and cloned since 1854!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettypirouettes(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operappopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: April Snow!

Heyy.. dudette.. watch your typing there.. I sure hope you're not cloned.. although, that would explain a lot.

April snow brings: handsome Comtes. -swoon-

"Coupé, coupé, jeté, jeté, assemblé!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operappopulaire. com; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org  
**CC:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net;  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: RE: April Snow!

No no, dear La Sorelli, you've got it all wrong…

April snow brings: handsome _Vi_comtes.

Yes, Raoul and I must confess. We have been harboring secret passions for each other ever since we started our virus war. It's quite obvious now, we hope, that that was just blatant flirting. Our love/hate relationship has finally moved out of the "hate" zone, and we feel nothing but love for each other. We hope that you will understand.

PS. Christine and Meg, you two should get together sometime.

No thoughts in my head but thoughts of love!  
-Erik, formerly OG.

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net;  
**To:** castncrew(at)operappopulaire. com; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: April Snow!

April snow brings: lunatics with lavender-scented hair.

'Tis true. Erik and I are soulmates. And Meg, dear, keep your hands off _my_ psychopath!

-Raoul

"I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operappopulaire. com  
**To:** blondeballetrat(at)operappopulaire. com  
**Subject:** FW: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: April Snow!

Eeeeeeek! Did you know about this! Oh.. my Erik! My Raoul! How can they do this to me? Ohh.. whatever shall I do? I knew that there was something wrong with Raoul.. I think it's the way he kisses… but Erik..? He's such a manly-man!

-Chrissie

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operappopulaire. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operappopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: FW: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: April Snow!

Lyk, oh-em-gee.. I know! I was such a devoted gurlferind, too. I mean, u were kinda playing them both, so it's understandable if they got tired of u… but me!1/1?1 This is sooooooo not fair!1!1!1!1

-Meg

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operappopulaire. com  
**To:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** FW: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: April Snow!

Raoul!

Look here, buster. I don't know what you're playing at, but Erik's mine! Got it?

I thought you loved me! How can you do such a thing as to steal my beloved away from me?1?1 Really, you're such a prissy fop that I'm surprised he would settle for someone like you.

-Mlle Daaé

PS. I tried your shampoo. It doesn't even smell good!

"…angel of music…you denied me…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operappopulaire. com  
**Subject: **RE: FW: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: April Snow!

Heh. Don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful. Hate me cuz your ex-boyfriend thinks so too!

And it's "Monsieur Vicomte" to you!

PS. You're just jealous cuz your hair doesn't smell like bubblegum!

"I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operappopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operappopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: April Snow!

April snow brings: strong sopranos who do not need men. Or fops. So there.

"…angel of music… you denied me…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frenchlady(at)operappopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operappopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: April Snow!

Yes, dear, you go show 'em!

April snow brings: cute-butted, book-loving, mass-e-mailing, tall, dark, 'n' handsome Persians. Oh baby!

"Don't just do it, _dance_ it!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operappopulaire. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operappopulaire. com  
**Subject:** FW: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: April Snow!

Aaaaaaagh! Will this cursed day never end?112?1 First the love of my life doesn't like females, so I will have to undergo a couple of painful operations, but now, my mother?11?23?2?

-Meg

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operappopulaire. com  
**To:** blondeballetrat(at)operappopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: FW: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: April Snow!

Ooh.. gender-change operation? Brilliant idea! I'll go sign us up right now!

-Chrissie

"…angel of music… you denied me…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operappopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operappopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: April Snow!

Dear all,

There's something Meg and I would like to share with you. Having been denied the love we feel we deserve from a certain peeping-Erik, we have decided that since he likes men, and we would like to be liked by him, well, you know the drill…

Mssrs André et Firmin, we would like to ask you for different roles after this, since we believe we cannot realistically portray our feminine roles anymore.

Thank you for your understanding,

Christoph Daaé and Markus Giry

"…angel of music… you denied me…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operappopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operappopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org  
**Subject:** April Fools!

Noo… my darling Christine (and I s'pose, you too, Meg) don't do eeeet!

April Fools, everyone. I hope that your intelligence was sufficient enough for you to at once detect our trick, and were merely playing along. Although, recent events have made me think otherwise.

The Vicomte and I are in no way a couple, unless you mean a couple of leet hax0rs, or course.

Yours ever,  
O.G.

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind… and unquestionably straight and single…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operappopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operappopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net; overlooked(at)persiansrus. org  
**Subject:** RE: April Fools!

Oh yes, my darling tutor. Right right, I knew at once that you were merely joking. Of course I was playing along!1!11!1

Just to make sure, though, you're serious, right? You still wub me?

Very relieved,

Christine

"…angel of music… maybe you didn't deny me after all…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operappopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: April Fools!

What?1?1 You mean you don't love me after all? I thought we had something special!1!

Still hopelessly in love with you,  
-Raoul

"I feel pretty! Oh so pretty! And a little hurt as well…"

-------------------------------------------------

**Authors' Note:** We realized that we didn't put up an April Fools Special in time, so this is making up for it! Hope you're not too enraged and murderous… review, review!


	11. Part XI

**Disclaimer:** Just think of it! If we owned the Phantom of the Opera, then author #1 will own Gerik... eeks… now there's a disturbing thought…

-------------------------------------------------

**Part XI**

**From:** prettypirouettes(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** ACK!

Dear all,

Since I was unfortunately unable to perform in the last Opera (totally worth it, though), I lent out a pair of Pointe shoes to someone. I really, really, really, really, desperately need them back. I don't know to who, I don't know when, and I don't know what it looks like (it might be a powdery blue, or a lime green, but yeah, you get the drift).

So, ahem, if you find anything that doesn't belong to you, give it to me!

Thanks bunches,  
La Sorelli

"Coupé, coupé. jeté, jeté, assemble!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** Read only if you're a ballerina:

Hey all, I forgot the e-mail address for just the ballet folks, so this'll have to do.

First, Sori, dearie, it's "to whom," not "to who." If you want, I have a grammar book in my office you may borrow sometime.

Okay, crew!

Tomorrow's the day of our next obligatory dance concert trip. You should bring a writing utensil, and something to write on, and your wits about you. After the performance, I expect you all to write a response paper, describing how the performance changed you and your views on life. They are to be at least 50 lines, 12 pt font, Times New Roman, and are to be e-mailed to me by no later than a week after tomorrow.

Mme. Giry

"Don't just do it, _dance_ it!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** duckducknoose(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Check this out!

Look everyone! I got myself a new e-mail address! The former one I now use for my business dealings, so send your rug requests that-a-way!

Oh, and Antoinette, darling, don't be so harsh on the poor girl. I'm sure "to who" is an acceptable colloquialism.

Yours,  
Teh Nadir

PS. All rumours about my butt have been severely exaggerated. Pray, stop gawking, all of you!

"There's a reason I'm not called 'Apex'"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** My Broken Heart

Oh, Monsieur le Phantôme, what a cruel joke you played on me! I fear my very heart and soul shall never be the same again. I know we had a real connection. Couldn't you feel it, when we were hax0ring teh ub-1337 mainframe together?

As a token of my deep affection, please read this poem, which comes from the bottom of my love-torn heart:

There once was a dashing male Phantom  
Who sometimes held ladies for ransom  
They screamed and they kicked  
Which hurt poor Erik  
But stopped when they saw he was handsome

Luvvies from,  
Raoul

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** Ballet Journal

Mum - I mean, Mme Giry, Teacher, Ma'am -

Here is my latest ballet journal entry, all neatly typed up! Better late than never, right? You're not taking off points for me turning it in two weeks late, are you?

_I have been working super-hard on my pirouettes lately, and I am really optimistic that it shows! At first I was having trouble with spotting-you know, I kept wobbling all over, and that falling incident last Thursday need never be repeated to anyone ever again. But now I think I really have the hang of it, thanks to my exercises in the spinny chair in Andre and Firmin's office. Please don't tell them about that._

_I luv luv luv my new tutu, especially the sparkly bits! It makes all the practice worthwhile to be able to wear a pretty outfit like that and be all shiny on stage!_

_"Well, I will continue to be cheery and hard-working in class, as ever!_

Luv,  
Meg

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** More Rhymes'o'Devotion

'Wik,

After I went five minutes without finding a response to my love limerick, I realized that it must have been lost or redirected somehow. I knew that if it had gotten to your mailbox, you would have instantly felt the bond of soulmate-ship which ties us together calling you hither to read it.

Therefore, here is another poem which I hope you will enjoy.

Dark form in Box 5—  
Announcement of his presence—  
My heart, it flutters.

These haikus are so addictive! I simply had to include another.

Malicious virus  
Invading my CPU—  
Token of his love.

Kisses—mwah!  
Raouly

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Disrespect of Personal Property

Ladies and gentlemen (and ghosts),

It has recently come to our attention that a great crime has been committed right under our very noses! Yes, our beloved office chair, fondly dubbed "Spinny McSpinners," has met a sad and tragic death at the hands of-who?

Yes, friends, this is a sad day, and the tragedy is only compounded by the fact that we don't even know who spun poor Spinny hard enough to break him! The poor defenseless chair… We didn't even get a chance to… say… goodbye… -sob-!

Firmin here, taking over for Andre. We are both very upset over this loss, and would greatly appreciate any confessions or tips which might lead us to the culprit.

Morosely, miserably, inconsolably yours,  
Andie'n'Firmie

"I had a dream… such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** A better poem

My dearest, the delight of my soul, I realize that you perhaps are shocked by the lack of length of my previous poems. Although conciseness is a virtue, and silence is golden... However, I feel that perhaps a longer poem will show you the true depth of my affection.

Ere I saw you, I believed not in love. Mine  
Ardor knows no bounds now, as I behold  
Thine eyes, so beautifully golden, and shine…  
Erik, oh, Erik, I love you so!

Lover, mine heart doth thou embrace  
But, oh, art thou not also anticipating  
Sweet love's duet? Art thou not waiting,  
To feed our instincts most base?  
Think, darling, of lovers' intertwining lace!

My dear, for fleeting always is true love,  
I pray that you would my affections keep.  
Your pure heart, like that of angels above,  
I shall always, eternally, adore.  
Shun me, and forever I shall gladly weep.  
For, the one thing even I abhor,  
Is cruelty of a lover, a cut ever so deep.

My mind, soul, and bodyare completelyyours,  
Raoul

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Flooded Inbox

Vicomte,

Your emails have flooded my inbox. Ego-boosting as your, ahem, creative poems are, I must ask you to cease and desist.

Or else.

From,  
O.G.

PS. When did your poetry skills improve so?

PPS. I was not going to dignify your pathetic supplication by replying, but my curiosity got the best of me. Pray, where did you learn to rhyme like that? Would you care to show me a couple of pointers, so I can better serenade my pupil?

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** Thank Goodness!

I was about to think you didn't care for me… but your timely e-mail has washed away all my fears.

"Your e-mails have flooded my inbox" is clearly code for "love for you fills my heart." I also adore the way you thank away my compliments so humbly, and in turn praise my creativity, which I previously had reservations about. Of course, now that you are aware of my affections, I no longer will have to write cryptic poems hinting at them, and we shall be able to discuss (and maybe act out? Just a thought…) our love-bond.

Oh, alright. There should be no secrets between lovers. I must confess, I bought that last poem off of eBay the other day. For 20 extra francs, they encoded a secret message for me! You should feel immensely special, for they were the 20 francs I was going to use to buy some more lavender-scented essential oils.

Oh.. – blushes – aww.. Ewik, you know I'm completely enamored with you… no need for such flattery!

Luv,  
Raoulies

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Be careful!

Mes amis,

I have been, for the past two days, taking general health classes at the local teashop. There are really serious issues that we are not aware of!

As I learn more about these, I will update you all on my findings. I do hope this will make our little opera house a healthier place to be!

Cheers,  
Chrissie

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**Authors' Note: **Sorry for the long wait.. and the apparent lack of quality.. We were going to make up a good excuse, but see.. we forgot to.. oops.. well, if you review, hopefully that'll guilt us into updating faster!

Oh, and special Gerik-kisses to whoever figures out the secret message in Raoul's poem! (that's a really nice prize, by the way; author #1 is the jealous type.)


	12. Part XII

**Disclaimer:** We've used up our funny-ness in writing this chapter, so this disclaimer is dull as a blunt axe.

-------------------------------------------------

**Part XII**

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Your Anorexia

Darling Raoul, I've been learning about eating disorders in my health class. After careful thinking, I believe that you are anorexic.

Oops, scratch that, we're supposed to use the "'I' Statement" when counseling; ahem: I'm dreadfully worried about you because you exhibit some signs of disordered eating that may or may not eventually develop into anorexia. There we go, much better!

Seriously, though, you do fit the signs uncannily..:

-- Thinning hair – ever since last month.. remember? Same time you made that new conditioner..  
-- Pale/ashen – you're always so pale now!  
-- Fainting spells – my tutor says that he sees you feeling dizzy most of the time  
-- Skipping meals – Meg says your excuse is that you're busy writing poetry to the love of your life, but I haven't gotten any…  
-- Nervous – especially around my angel… I suppose he found you out, and you're afraid he'll tattle? Don't worry, he didn't tell me, I figured it all out!  
-- Loss of interest in activities – you're always so sullen, and look like you can't concentrate…

Don't worry, my love. I've signed you up for a rehabilitation program. A coach will arrive for you in 15 minutes, and you shall stay there for as long as needed to make you well again, probably no longer than a couple of decades!

Luvs,  
Chrissie

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny, net  
**To: **frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject: **RE: Your Anorexia

Haha, very funny, Christine… Actually, you really had me fooled for a moment there. Then I realized, of course, that you would understand I would never become anorexic. Why, what good would it do me to grow too thin and skeletal to fit into my dashing, fashionable outfits? Not to mention the horrors of pallid hair and complexion associated with eating disorders. How would I woo anyone looking like _that?_

Hey, I almost imagined I heard a coach pulling up outside. You didn't really call anyone, did you? That would be taking the joke a bit too far. By the way, you were just kidding about the thinning hair, weren't you?

Oh no, they're at the door… Chrissie, my childhood friend, my flower, you wouldn't really do this to me, would you? Please, Christine… they're coming in now… don't let them takSVKBSKDRJGB

"I feel pretty… oh, so pretty…"

**-------------------------------------------------**

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** Your Tuberculosis

My dearest Angel of Music,

I am writing to tell you how worried I have become ever since our lesson yesterday. I am troubled by the moment when you stepped away from my music book and coughed.

Yes, the cough was cleverly disguised to look small and insignificant, but I could tell how it wracked your delicate (but manly!… and so very gorgeous and sexy) frame. After some research, I have concluded that you are at a great risk for tuberculosis.

Clearly, the only solution is to get you out of that damp, disgusting dungeon and moved to some more health-inducing quarters. I am confident that with rest and some TLC you will be fine soon if we move you right away!

Luv'n'huggles,  
Christine

"…angel of music…"

**-------------------------------------------------**

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject: **RE: Your Tuberculosis

Nonsense, ma petite,

I'm as healthy as a beanstalk…er (oh look, a pun!). There's no need to worry about me! I will not have you fretting over my non-existent illness… your time is more wisely spent practicing your scales, or drooling over me, come to think of it…

No worries,  
Erik

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

**-------------------------------------------------**

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: Your Tuberculosis

Oh no, dear tutor! Besides, it's better to be safe than sorry… I've been thinking about how absolutely unsanitary your cave is…

Perhaps I can convince the managers to let you move into my chambers, since it's so big and empty, and I'm all alone most of the time…

Your mask,  
Christine

"…angel of music…"

**-------------------------------------------------**

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject: **RE: Your Tuberculosis

Ah oui? Your suite? I mean…

Come to think of it, I have been coughing persistently lately, and am more often seized by bouts of chest pain. Perhaps you are indeed correct, as you most often are.

So, mademoiselle, when do I move in?

Your sickly tutor who will greatly improve with fresh air from your bedroom,  
Erik

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

**-------------------------------------------------**

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** Meg's Suicidal Tendencies

Mme Giry,

Lately I have become worried by my dear friend Meg's behavior. As her mother, I wanted to let you know about the delicate situation. You see, Meg is displaying clear signs of suicidal tendencies. Over the course of the past few days, during which we have been learning about suicidal disorders in my health class, I have grown more and more convinced that Meg may do herself harm in the future.

Her gloomy attitude (especially when you tell her to practice with one hundred more pirouettes!), the way she has been sneaking around near Andre and Firmin, her authority figures—it all points to mental instability.

After seeing her clearly staring out the windows more than once, I am sure that she was ready to jump! She seemed annoyed after I tackled her to the floor, but that is only to be expected. People in her state are incapable of seeing the good we are trying to do them by curing them. I'm sure her shouting was only a thin cover for her disappointment that she was unable to successfully defenestrate herself.

I suggest that, in order to cure Meg, we:

-- take the door off of her room so she cannot shut herself inside and commit suicide  
-- board up her windows so she cannot jump out  
-- keep someone watching her at all times when she is out of her room  
-- set up a suicide alert and a window watch  
-- make sure she stays away from my angel of music. After all, he is a rather angsty individual, and the gloom might only encourage her!

These measures should be enough to keep her safe until I can cure her of her unfortunate tendencies!

Luv,  
Christine

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Goodbye, cruel opera house!

Dear all,

I don't know why, but everyone's been rather mean to me lately. First, they remove my doors and board up my windows… and then they confiscate my scissors… and I'm not even allowed to try to find darling Erik… and everyone gives me strange looks… and there's always someone following me… and they have recently added thick padding to my walls…

All this is getting to be too much, but don't worry. I shan't have to endure this for much longer!

Remember me when I'm gone,  
Meg

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** FW: Goodbye, cruel opera house!

Eeeeeeek! Whatever shall we do? I wasn't trained for this!

-Chrissie

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: FW: Goodbye, cruel opera house!

Christine, Dearie,

I don't know… I guess we should just make the most of the time while she's still with us.

Cheer up,  
Mme Giry

"Don't just do it, _dance_ it!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: FW: Goodbye, cruel opera house!

What?1 Do you not care that she's leaving us?1 Are you not going to miss her?1! A great mother you are…

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: FW: Goodbye, cruel opera house!

Don't be silly… of course we're all going to miss Meg, and it is because I'm a good mother that I am not being so selfish and trying to keep her with me.

Think of it this way, Chrissie dear, Meg's going to be in a better place; she'll be happier there!

- Mme Giry

PS. Besides, I'm sure she'll come back and visit! I'm sure you'll see her again sooner than you think!

"Don't just do it, _dance_ it!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: RE: FW: Goodbye, cruel opera house!

OMGWTF?1 What the "heck" are you talking about? Why exactly are you supporting your daughter's idea of suicide?

And uhh… I don't particularly want a Meg-Ghost to come back and haunt me… and I really don't want to join her indeath so quickly… plus, I'm going to Purgatory, not Hell...

-Chrissie

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** HELP!

Dear all,

I had resolved recently, thanks to some, ah, gentle urging by Mme Giry, to no longer send mass emails, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Yes, I am now an unfairly convicted member of Jacques's Institute for the Care of Anorexics. It has taken me three torturous days of counseling, group therapy, and force-feeding, but I have finally managed to get access to a computer to contact you.

I beg of you, rescue me! Anyone who has seen me on raspberry torte day in the cafeteria can vouch for my definite freedom from anorexia.

Your miserable patron,  
Raoul, le Vicomte de Chagny

P.S.: Don't depend on contacting me through e-mail, I suspect that Jacques may find his computer has been tragically infested by a mysterious virus soon.

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: FW: Goodbye, cruel opera house!

Suicide! Heaven forbid, good child!

No no, didn't you hear? Meg got a 2-year contract with a touring group in Strasbourg! So she's leaving our opera house for the time being. Nadir's going with her too… ooh, I am going to miss that hunk of a man…

Mme Giry

"Don't just do it, _dance_ it!"

-------------------------------------------------

**Authors' Note:** Love it? Hate it? Got suggestions for the next special feature? Is the slashy-slash making you sick? Does Christine seem too intelligent? Miss the love poems? Want to declare your undying love for Raoul? Tell us all in a review! (And we'll actually respond to them now!)


	13. Part XIII

To make up for the long wait (we're kind of sorry about that, by the way) here's another chatroom scene!

PS. This chapter's dedicated to all math-y people!

**Disclaimer:** We own nothing. Oh wait, that's not true... Eloise owns a copy of the 2004 movie, but she's defending that with her life.

-------------------------------------------------

**Part XIII**

**Firmin:** dearly beloved, we're gathered here today..

**Andre:** eh.. Firmie, dear, we're not at a wedding..

**Firmin:** oh. Oops. We're here today for the first-ever Opera Populaire Quiz Bowl Match!

**Andre:** Sooo.. dear Quizlets, you need to divide up into two teams, who wants to be a team captain?

**Erik**: I wish you wouldn't call me that, it does bother me so..

**Firmin:** psst, Andie, d'you know who this Erik is?

**Andre:** no clue, Mimi

**Firmin:** Ah well.. thanks for volunteering! Who else?

**Raoul:** ohh! me! me me meee…

**Meg:** I want to be on Erik's team!

**Christine:** me too!

**Raoul:** whaa? OMG, Christine..

**MmeGiry:** don't worry, dear Vicomte, I'll be on your team!

**Nadir:** and me as well!

**Erik:** hmph. No loyalty whatsoever. I wonder what Mr. Punjab thinks of that..?

**Nadir:** umm.. nevermind. I want to be on Erik's team.. sorry dear..

**MmeGiry:** someone's sleeping on the couch tonight..

**Meg:** ehh.. mum? What are you talking about?

**MmeGiry:** oops.. I mean.. nothing.. nothing at all! I'm going to go check on dinner, it should be ready to eat soon –twitches slightly-

**Philippe:** no wukkas.. me and Sori'll stick with ya, bro

**Raoul:** dude.. "no wukkas"? since when did you turn Australian?

**Andre:** alrighty. La Carlotta, you're with Raoul, then. Teams names, anyone?

**Raoul:** FopsUnited!

**Erik:** I like.. umm.. peanut.. butter..?

**Firmin:** okie dokies! We just discovered this really kewl chatroom feature; you can add tags to everyone's names! Look!

**Meg(PeanutButter):** what do u mean?

**Meg(PeanutButter):** whoah! neat!

**Andre:** okay, then. Let us commence!

**Firmin:** first question, it's an easy one:

**Firmin:** if there are 93 men and 72 women hunting after the Opera Ghost, the men each have a .102 chance of finding him, and the women each have .049 chance, what's the overall probability of the O.G. getting away?

**Christine(PeanutButter):** Firmin, that's a bit sexist of you, isn't it? I think women should have the same chance of finding him!

**Meg(PeanutButter):** wat's "sexist"?

**Erik(PeanutButter):** Excuse my humble opinions, but the Opera Ghost will never submit to apprehension! How dare you underestimate his omnipotent powers?

**Meg(PeanutButter):** huh?.. u just used alot of words that i dun kno

**Philippe(FopsUnited):** 86.986

**Andre:** oh! capital, capital! that's some fast math right there!

**La Sorelli(FopsUnited):** that's my man :-D

**Raoul(FopsUnited):** dude, where d'you learn to do that?

**Philippe(FopsUnited):** mum sent me to business school when you were away at ballet lessons

**Philippe(FopsUnited):** oops. I didn't mean to say that… sorry…

**Raoul(FopsUnited):** I only went so I can see Christine! My love for her is nothing to be ashamed of!

**Erik(PeanutButter):** that's what they all say.. -snigger chortle giggle-

**Christine(PeanutButter):** Erik, shush! Aww, Raoul, that's so sweet of you! 

**Erik(PeanutButter):** excuse my behavior. I think I may have had one too many martinis.. -blushes-

**Meg(PeanutButter):** martinis? where?

**Erik(PeanutButter):** Christine has a secret alcohol stash under her bed

**Christine(PeanutButter)**: -flushes- I need it for.. medical reasons…

**Firmin:** ahem. Moving on: one over cosine x, divided by a constant "c", simplifies to what expression?

**Erik(PeanutButter):** let's see.. one over cosine x is secant x, over c.. it's (sec x)/c?

**Raoul(FopsUnited):** wait! I know how to finish it! the c's cancel out, so the answer is "sex"! M. Firmin, these questions are a bit inappropriate, aren't they?

**Firmin:** I'm sorry M. de Changy, Erik has the correct answer. You are now tied, with one point each.

**Raoul(FopsUnited):** dude, it's "de Chagny"

**Firmin:** oops. sorry, man.

**Andre:** next question: You are captured by the Shah of Persia, and placed in a prison to be executed.

**Andre:** The executioner tells all the prisoners, there are twenty of them, a day prior the method of execution.

**Andre:** Everyone is lined up, and the executioner puts either a black or white hat on everyone's head.

**Erik(PeanutButter):** can you please just type everything out at once? It does bother me so.

**Andre:** okay okay, #20 can see everyone in front of him, but not his own hat, #19 sees the first 18 people's, etc. The executioner then asks #20 what color his hat is, and if he answers correctly, he is spared. The executioner then asks #19, and so on. The prisoners are allowed to meet and discuss a strategy beforehand. The question is: how many people can you make sure you save?

**Erik(PeanutButter):** bah. My good friend Nadir will surely let me escape. This question does not concern me.

**Nadir(PeanutButter):** yea. and I'm not about to go and kill myself, or my dear Antoinette.

**Raoul(FopsUnited):** I'll pay them off with my enormous fortune!

**Meg(PeanutButter):** i'll seduce teh gaurds!

**Christine(PeanutButter):** what about me?

**Raoul(FopsUnited):** of course I won't let them kill you! I haven't even slept with you yet!

**Christine(PeanutButter):** aww… so sweet… wait, what?1 is that why you've been buying me lingerie?

**Erik(PeanutButter):** you haven't? Hah!

**Raoul(FopsUnited):** pfft. It's not like you have either…

**Erik(PeanutButter):** ooh.. I wouldn't be so sure about that, my most esteemed fop…

**Christine(PeanutButter):** Erik, shh! You really can't hold your liquor, can you?

**Raoul(FopsUnited):** Christine? What's going on?

**Christine(PeanutButter):** It's nothing.. Erik's just being his usual delusional self again…

**Erik(PeanutButter):** I resent that!

**Philippe(FopsUnited):** 19?

**Raoul(FopsUnited):** huh? I'm so confused..

**Philippe(FopsUnited):** 19 people saved, you dolt. I'd explain it to you, but it seems like such a waste of time.

**Firmin:** Brava! Correct!

**Erik(PeanutButter):** my dear M. Firmin, it's "bravo," or "bravi" if its plural. I'm sincerely sorry, but such horrid grammar does bother me so.

**Raoul(FopsUnited):** geez, Erik, you're such a whiner!

**Andre:** okay okay.. next question: it has been scientifically proven that drinking 22 ml of arsenic will kill a person. If you drank 5 glasses of water, each laced with 6 ml of arsenic, will you die?

**Raoul(FopsUnited):** okay, who wants to test it?

**Philippe(FopsUnited):** one sec, I think I've figured it out.. it the answer "yes"?

**Christine(PeanutButter):** uh oh..

**Meg(PeanutButter):** wat?

**Christine(PeanutButter):** Erik was on the fifth glass when he passed out.. d'you think it's serious?

**Meg(PeanutButter):** dunno.. prolly not..

-------------------------------------------------

**Author's Note:** Sorry for taking so long to update! Eloise had AP exams.. and Elizabeth, well, she's just lazy.. Although, to her credit, she did do a temporary bio for us (which you can now all see) that will remain until Eloise comes up with something better. Right, so actually, Elizabeth was deathly illness due to a sinus infection, but that's okay, she's tough…

Righto, you notice that it's "Author's Note," singular. No worries, Elizabeth will return, after catching up with all her work… this is also the reason why this chapter's kind of short; Eloise simply not clever enough to write funny things.

Also, sorry that this is short, but life's been hectic, and finals are coming up. So, this is probably (see last note) the one update this week, but after exams (next week) are over, and Eloise is comfortably home, you can expect updates at least twice a week!

Last note: review, review! Your reviews inspire us to keep writing… and if we have enough feedback, since Eloise's too insecure about her writing, there might be another chapter on Wednesday! ;-)


	14. Part XIV

Finally… the next installment! At the risk of sounding like a broken record player: we're really sorry for the long wait.

**Disclaimer:** Zip. Zilch. Nada.

-------------------------------------------------

**Part XIV**

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at) operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**CC: **duckducknoose(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** Hiya!

Heyy guyz and galz at the Opera P.!

Everyting's swell here at Opera somethin… i 4get teh name… but yea, they treat us real nice hear, lyk, private chambers and everything!1!1! i wish we kan stay here 4eva!1

ooo.. who am i kiding?1 i relly miss paris.. I relly wana go bac! -sniff- i'm relly longly here.. nothing to do… no one to talk to.. and Nadir's konversashun skillz are medioker at best… :'(

- Meg

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

PS. Lyk, kan ne1 of u come an' visit mi?

-------------------------------------------------

**From: **frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at) operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** FW: Hiya!

Members of the Opera Populaire:

We have been together so long that I feel we are a big family… A big, musical family… Andie and Firmie are like the daddies, and maybe I'm a kind auntie, and there are lots of sons and daughters, and even an antisocial basement-dwelling teenager type, and—

Well, anyway, since we are such a family, I knew I could count on all of you to help me cheer up my poor, depressed daughter, who has been struck with homesickness on her very first time away from home for so long. I told her this would happen, I said, "Meggie, isn't the ballet here good enough for you?" but of course, she's going through that stubborn phase and she said she'd never get a leading role if she didn't go study AP Ballet Technique, silly girl…

Here is my idea: I think we should make big care packages for Meg! Everyone can give something to add to the box, and then we'll mail it all to Meg in Strasbourg, where she's working so hard and I know she'll love it soooo much. You can bring a little gift, or some nice food, or a letter to Meg and leave it with me. If we all collaborate, we can make such a great package for her! Remember, there's no "I" in "team," so don't hesitate to bring your last package of cookies to my chamber—for the sake of Meg, of course.

Your auntie,  
Mme Giry

"Don't just do it, _dance_ it!"

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**From: **undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at) operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** FW: FW: Hiya!

You said it! There's no "I" in "team," but there are two in "martini." So, everyone, to my... eh... Christine's suite! I've managed to crack the combination to her lock on the liquor cabinet!

Cheers,  
O.G.

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From: **frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at) operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject: **FW: FW: FW: Hiya!

Monsieur le Fantome:

Really now, you must take this situation seriously! Now, run along and make a nice present for Meg.

-Mme Giry

"Don't just do it, _dance_ it!"

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**From:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at) operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Marvellous!

We would like to take this moment to say that, as managers, we simply couldn't be prouder of this opera house! This togetherness and bonding are what make the best businesses run the way they do (making lots of money, that is!). We really feel that the Opera Populaire is a special place, and we should all work together, like we are now, to make gigantic profits—we mean, to be the best opera house in history! Woo-hoo!

Luv,  
Andre and Firmin

"I had a dream… such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more…"

P.S.: Are we really the daddies? Aww!

-------------------------------------------------

**From: **undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at) operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject: **FW: FW: FW: FW: Hiya!

"Monsieur"… hehe… what a funny word! I once wrote a dissertation on the pronunciation of that word once… it wasn't received well by the general public, unfortunately… another funny word is "dissertation"… kinda like "dessert"… but not… wheeeee!

Not drunk at all!  
O.G.

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** Your Alcoholism

Dear my Angel of Music,

I had thought that after taking my health class I'd cured the Opera Populaire of all the different problem that plague our "family," but now I see that I was being foolish and naïve- which is sooo unlike me! My wonderful tutor, I fear you have a problem with alcoholism! I can only imagine what you have stored in your dungeon… and how you are so skilled at picking the sort of locks I use for my doors…

If you do not agree to attend twice-weekly meetings at the local chapter of AMSA (Alcoholic Masked Stalkers Anonymous) I will take more desperate measures. You don't want to make a girl mad!

Your devoted pupil,  
Chrissie

"…angel of music…"

P.S.: This is all for your own good. And I will be expecting repayment for my martini ingredients…

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** I swear to drunk I'm not God!

Chrissin,

I don' know why u tink i'm drunk or hav a problm or nething!1 I m perfetcly ok. And u shuld com to drink wiht us!1!1 It's a good party, n it is in your room aniways. Who knew teh balerinas liked martininis soo much?

Luvs,  
Erikk

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

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**From:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Contributions

Hi all,

I counted up everything last night, and am proud to say that the majority of us got our acts together and managed to find a nice surprise for Meggie. And by majority, I mean all but one!

By the way, Monsieur le Fantome, sir, if you please, go buy Meg a nice little bracelet or such and give it to me before noon, I can still add it to the care package; and really, it'll show Meg that you care, which I'm sure will delight her.

Right, we'll know soon enough whether or not this alleviates poor Meg's homesickness. If it works, I hope we can all continue to send her weekly mail!

Thank you all,  
Mme. Giry

P.S.: Monsieur le Vicomte, those are magnificent hair accessories that you purchased for Meg. They really show exquisite, girly taste and are perfect for her!

"Don't just do it, _dance_ it!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** duckducknoose(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** FW: Contributions

Um… what about me? I'm sure someone would like to send me a letter… or some cookies… or a nice little present… I am really not very demanding, and I am quite a good stage hand…

Hello?

Anybody?

Your abandoned Persian,  
Nadir

"There's a reason my name isn't 'Apex.'"

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**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net;  
**To:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: Contributions

Mme. Giry,

"Girly," you say? Oh yes yes, Christine helped me pick those out. But pray, don't ask her; she's sure to deny it, that strange girl! -twitch-

Completely honest,  
Raoul, le Vicomte de Chagny

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

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**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: Contributions

My most esteemed Mme. Giry:

I really would like to donate. Believe me, I am a most fervent supporter of the Meg-cause. However, as I am but a deprived ghost with meager funds, I simply cannot afford to purchase extravagant gifts for a temperamental teenage girl.

My sincerest apologies,  
O.G.

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: Contributions

Monsieur le Fantome,

Nonsense! I know all about your twenty-thousand francs per month, sir, as I personally hand you your paychecks. Now, then, I'm sure a recluse such as yourself has no where to spend it all, so you must be hoarding at least millions! Come now, spending a few francs won't kill you, you stingy!

Awaiting your contribution,  
Mme. Giry

"Don't just do it, _dance_ it!"

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**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: Contributions

Mme Giry:

I'm afraid to inform you that my fortune is completely gone now. Half of it, shh, is in the form of a diamond ring, and the other half I had to use to bribe some nice folks at AMSA to tell Christine I'm a dedicated attendee.

Yours,  
O.G.

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: RE: Contributions

M. le F. (so much easier to type!),

Why, don't worry! What size is that ring? Oh.. nevermind! I'm sure it can be resized! Now, I know you meant to propose to Meg after she returns, but you might as well cheer her up now and pop the question!

Oh… just think! I can almost hear the wedding bells!

Soon to be your mother-in-law,  
Antoinette

"Don't just do it, _dance_ it!"

-------------------------------------------------

**Authors' Note:** Oh noes! Is it really true? Did Eloise just put Erik/Meg into the phic? Is that thunderstorm outside the window actually boding the end of the world as we know it? Stay tuned… and review… to find out.


	15. Part XV

Oh-em-gee… look! Another update!

**Disclaimer:** Nah…

-------------------------------------------------

**Part XV**

**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** Hey…

My dearest Christine,

I am not a man of eloquence, thus, I can only quote Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice:

"In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must let me tell you how ardently I admire and love you."

These words very accurately describe my feelings toward you, my darling Christine. You must remember that in the book, Darcy asks for Elizabeth's hand in marriage.

Thus, will you, my fair Elizab – er, Christine, do me the honor of marrying me?

Hopefully,  
- Raoul

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

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**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: Hey…

R. de Chagny,

Note that Elizabeth rejects Darcy's proposal? Yep. Sorry.

- C. Daae

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Thx!

Hihi!

Lyke, omigosh! Thank u all for, like, sending me those totally awesome thingz! Theyre all, lyk, really really totally coo.

Thx again,  
- Meg

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

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**From:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: Thx!

Meg dearie,

That reminds me, the Opera Ghost (Earl, is it? Or is it Ethan?) is going to propose!

Now, I know that he may not be the most attractive man, but still, think of the wealth! Imagine, if only you marry him… he's like, 80, years old, and about to die. Plus, that arsenic incident during the Quiz Bowl weakened him immensely, so I doubt he'll live to see next Christmas.

And then, we will be worth millions! Just think, how absolutely wonderful!

XOXO,  
Mum

"Don't just do it, _dance_ it!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** FW: RE: Thx!

Omg!1!1 Chrissie, do u think this is true? Cuz that'll be like, totally amazing!

O ya, dont worry, im not, like, marrying him 4 his money. I know that he's only like 28 or sumthing, and if u look past the slight sunburn, he's really hott!1

-Meggie

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

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**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** Worried about you

Christine darling dearest,

I'm rather concerned. You haven't been at all your usual, cheerful self this morning. Come to think of it, right after you checked your e-mail.

What's the matter? Whatever it is, I'm sure it can be sorted out! Don't worry; I'll support you a hundred percent :-)

Love,  
Raoul

PS. I dearly hope my proposal didn't upset you so!

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

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**From:** divalady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Thrilling Opportunity to Taste Fame and Glory!

Yes, my fellow operettes, you did read the subject line correctly! I imagine that you are eagerly droolivating for your chance to experience even a mini-bitty part of the famosity I have as you read this email… Never fear, I, Carlotta, am kindevolently offering you this once-in-a-billion-years chance to be… my personal assistant!

I will accept just ONE lucky person to follow me around and observe the daily life of a world-class diva. In between fetching my mineral water and peeling my grapes, you will pick up on all of the inside tips that will help you to someday be almost as superstarry as me—just imagine your humble little self universobally adored, with a posse of devoted fans and, of course, the coolness to make up fabulicent words.

I will accept as little as 1,000 francs per month for enduring your presence!

Famous as ever,  
La Carlotta

"Superior Singer"

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**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: Worried about you

Oh Raoul, my love!

Remember how you proposed to me that time, and I refused? Well, I've been thinking about it all this time!

I've made a terribly mistake in refusing you! Oh… of course I wish to marry you! You're young, handsome/pretty, and rich! You will offer me a completely secure future! Oh yes, my dear Raoulsies, I will marry you!

- Chrissie

"… angel of music… you betrayed me… so I'll go marry… your enemy!…"

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**From:** undergroundlunatic(at) operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** A proposal of sorts

Dear Christine,

I've been thinking about this for the past month, and have only recently managed to procure a ring. Yes, my dear Christine, a ring.

Would you do me the honor of marrying me?

Patiently awaiting your answer,  
Erik

P.S.: I do believe Mme. Giry thinks I shall propose to Meg. Imagine that! -chuckle-

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

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**From:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at) dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Yay for Astronomy!

Greetings to all,

We know how deeply you felt the absence of our helpful stargazing-related emails during these past few weeks. Unfortunately, we had little spare time lately for our favorite hobby due to the intensive repairs on our beloved spinny desk chair, account-balancing, and the unfortunate hangovers from that wonderful martini party.

Happily, we have not only returned to astronomy, but we are sooo pleased to announce to you a special event… Venus has been promised to be extra bright in the sky during the next few nights. Considering all the Venus-inspired love that has been going around this opera house, we suggest you take some time to view the Evening Star with your sweetheart… preferably in a spot where we can spy and find out who is actually the sweetheart of whom.

Horribly confused,  
Andie n Firmie

"I had a dream… such publicity! But it was a dream and nothing more…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression (at) operapopulaire. com  
**To:** undergroundlunatic (at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: A proposal of sorts

OMG really? You're serious? Of course I'll marry you!

Luv,  
Christine

"…angel of music… you betrayed me… so I'll go marry… your enemy!…"

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**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: Worried about you

Really? Oh, Christine! You have made me the happiest fop… er, man… on earth!

Ever loving,  
Raoul

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

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**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: Worried about you

Oh dear… How do I tell you?

Okay, here goes:

I've made a mistake again. I don't really want to marry you.

Sorry again!  
C. Daae

P.S.: I think we should get over the childhood-friends scarf-rescuing-soulmate thing. It was a long time ago; I'm moving on… to the romantic arms of the man who stalks me-- I mean, really cares!

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at) operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: A proposal of sorts

Eh… what's up with your signature?

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression (at) operapopulaire. com  
**To:** undergroundlunatic (at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: A proposal of sorts

Oops, nevermind that! O:-)

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**Authors' Note:** Reviews make us hard-working (okay, not so much) authors happy and productive!

(Eloise would like some pity for having so much AP homework over the summer(!), because she forgot about that when she signed up for so many courses. Silly her!)

(Elizabeth would also like to point out that she has nearly as much AP homework, and a physics class, so she gets pity too.)

(And SAT prep for both!)

(Eloise lastly wants to point out that Elizabeth doesn't have _that_ much work... only 40 percent of hers.)

(Elizabeth is cruel enough to laugh at Eloise.)


	16. Part XVI

Oooh.. three updates in three days! Is the universe going to implode now? -cringes-

**Disclaimer:** We don't own it… but if we did, it would be a lot more exciting!

-------------------------------------------------

**Part XVI**

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Honey, We're Home!

Hey all,

Yay! I am finally back from that other wierd opera house in, like, something-bourg. Let me tell you, it was really really weird! You wouldnt beleive the reul—regel—_rules_ they have there! Anyways, we just desided I wasn't, like, cut out 4 life there. Whatevs!

Luv,  
Meg

P.S.: That Persian guy is back too.

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Where is my Snuggle-bunny?

Has anyone seen Christine lately? I have been looking for her everywhere, but I don't know where she's gone, and it's very distressing! The monstrous bouquet I delivered to her chambers is starting to wilt, and she hasn't even seen it yet! How can I win her love back if I can't find her?

Please, someone, tell me where Chrissie is. The anxiety is ravaging my complexion!

Worried about the effects of stress on shininess of hair,  
Raoul

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** duckducknoose(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** Are you in hiding?

Well, after many trials and hardships (but a very good business in selling rugs!), I am back from my trip to Strasbourg. I have tried to seek you out, as I found a fascinating book which debates the merits of strangling vs. burning to death and I thought you might be interested in it; however, you seem to be nowhere to be found! My old friend, have you encountered a life-threatening danger which required you to abandon your dungeon? If so, I think we should look on the bright side—that old dump was so dank and gross!

Where are you now? Perhaps I can be of some assistance.

Your devoted friend,  
Nadir

"There's a reason my name isn't 'Apex.'"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Missing Soprano

Hello all Operalets,

We have just been informed that Mlle Daaé is missing! This is rather problematic, since she is to be singing in tonight's opera, Marriage of Figaro. If she is not found by supper, we'll have to ask La Carlotta to sing for her, and that'll be a disaster.. we mean, an honor! Really!

So yes, if any of you know the whereabouts of Mlle Daaé, please tell us!

Franticly,  
Andie & Firmie

PS. On a happier note, the Opera Ghost hasn't been seen for the past couple of days. Maybe he's gone for good!

"I had a dream… such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more..."

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** FW: Missing Soprano

I was taught to never miss a business opportunity, so:

I shall be taking bets as to Mlle Daaé's disappearance. If interested, please reply to this e-mail with your bet.

Yours,  
Philippe, le Comte de Chagny

"Everybody loves a well-educated man!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: FW: Missing Soprano

Oooh! 350 francs says that she trying to think of a way to propose to me!

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettypirouettes(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: FW: Missing Soprano

My dearest Philippe,

Ohmigosh! I'm so proud of you… this is a brilliant idea!

Luv,  
Sori

PS. Put me down for 50 francs on Christine running away to America to become one of those pop singer types.

"Coupé, coupe. jeté, jeté, assemblé!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** duckducknoose(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: FW: Missing Soprano

20 francs on us finding her mangled carcass in Erik's torture chamber.

"There's a reason my name isn't 'Apex.'"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: FW: Missing Soprano

I bet 50 franks that Chrissie got a super leading roll sumwhere else and she is off training for it!

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: FW: Missing Soprano

As fellow entrepreneurs, we must congratulate you on this smart scheme. We won't risk too much of our fortune, but we will offer 60 francs on Christine getting lost while visiting her father's grave… what a morbid girl, always going there to mope!

- Andre & Firmin

"I had a dream… such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: FW: Missing Soprano

Hi all!

I'm so sorry to worry everyone! However, I'm back now, and whoever betted on me and Erik eloping wins the grand prize!

That's right, Erik and I are a lawfully wedded couple! We'll be going on our honeymoon tomorrow, and will be back in two months. So, gimme wedding presents tonight!

Luvies,  
Mrs. Erik (sorry, I dunno your last name)

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com; undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: FW: Missing Soprano

Well, congratulations to you both!

I'm not good at buying presents, so I guess I can give you 16.21 percentof my total profits from everyone betting on Christine (since no one guessed right!). Isn't that generous of me? ;-)

-Philippe

"Everyone loves a well-educated man!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: FW: Missing Soprano

Omg. Christine, your such a ----- And a ----- And another ----- And a ------- Oh… your just a ----------!11! I h8 u 4ever! You new I luv him and he luves mee! But I bet you gave him a luv potion or sumthing!1

Anywai, don't b so happy. Erik's going to realyse tat he truelie luvs mee, and than you'll b sory.

-Anonymous

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: FW: Missing Soprano

Meg,

Just so you know, I recognize your e-mail address. But it's okay, I know you're just joking! Why...to think, you in love with my Erik?That's a good one:-)

- Chrissie

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** Congratulations

Dear Mr. Former Opera Ghost, sir,

Although this has been an… uh… unconventional marriage in many ways, we must nevertheless congratulate you on landing that cute soprano—we mean, on finding true love and happiness! We are sure you and the former Ms. Daae will be as strongly bonded as a covalent molecular structure, sharing the electrons of your love… -sigh-!

As you will now be combining assets with Christine and her high income, we are sure you won't find your "salary" necessary any longer. Don't worry, we will put the money to good use! Maybe you'll even get a cute little plaque in Box 5, or something.

Please extend our congratulations to Mrs… er, what is your last name?

- Andre and Firmin

"I had a dream… such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From: **prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** Virus!

Darling Christine,

I believe you have picked up a computer virus again… did you click on any suspicious links? You must remember the talk we had after I fixed your computer for the tenth time. Anyway, the virus seems to be sending false emails from your address.

Don't become too distressed, but it seems to have sent an email announcing your elopement with that Phantom creature! I, of course, saw right through such an outlandish claim. Don't worry, I'll still come and fix your computer for you!

Luv,

Raoul

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettypirouettes(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: FW: Missing Soprano!

Congratulations, Christine! I know you'll be happy as a married woman—I'm only disappointed that I wasn't at your wedding to catch the bouquet! It would have been a good hint to a certain someone, don't you think? Well, I'll find another way.

I hope you don't regret turning down a De Chagny man; of course, the O.G. must be awfully rich, and he _must_ be freer with his money than these nobility types. Such penny-pinchers! They won't even buy a nice diamond ring…

Envious,  
La Sorelli

"Coupé, coupe. jeté, jeté, assemblé!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergrounglunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** Psst!

My dear,

Should we tell them now?

Yours,  
Erik

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

-------------------------------------------------

**Authors' Note:** Oooh… wonder what the big secret is? Only one way to find out: review!


	17. Part XVII

**Disclaimer:** Umm…We forget…

-------------------------------------------------

**Part XVII**

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Guess what!

Hey everyone!

Hee… guess what? Me and Erik have a secret! Yup. But I like knowing secrets, even though hubby dear wants you all to know... but then again, he was never the secretive type...So, guess what our secret is! I'll only tell youif you guess right…

Luvies from,  
Christine

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettypirouettes(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: Guess what!

OMG! You're pregnant, aren't you? Congratz! I call godmother!1 If you need help buying maternity dresses, I'll come shopping with you! I know the chiq-est stores in all of Paris!

Really excited,  
La Sorelli

"Coupé, coupe. jeté, jeté, assemblé!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: Guess what!

Nono, Sori m'dear,

I believe that Erik has found a new moneymaking scheme. Not really sure how it works, but I'll bet my prized horse, Mr. Strawberry (I can explain! Raoul named him…), that it has something to do with stealing goose feathers from La Carlotta's hat and reselling them on eBay.

Am I right?

P. de Chagny

"Everyone loves a well-educated man!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: Guess what!

OMG Christine, you hore! i can't belive that ur pregnet!1! I alwaiz thout my preshus Erik had beter sence then that, but I ghess you triked him sumhow. Hmph:-(

Hate you 4evar,  
Erik's troo luv

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: Guess what!

Haha, you're so funny, Meg!

-Christine

PS. But really, this joke is starting to hurt my feelings!

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** divalady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: Guess what!

You sorry excuse for a ghost,

Is this true?1! Are you the one stealing my feathers?1

I want full compensation!  
And a new hat! One of those pea green ones you see all the fashinable ladies wearing all over the streets.  
Preferably with a pink bow.  
And feathers. Lots of feathers.

"Superior Singer"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: RE: Guess what!

Wel, good! im glad your hert!

Hmph!1

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Guess what!

Huh? I'm confused! Aren't you feeling okay, Meg?

C.

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** divalady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: Guess what!

My dear lady,

I'm afraid I did not take your feathers, although, now I wish that I did. Pray tell, do you mean the ones from that horrendously blue monstrosity you newly acquired? Ah, I remember now, from that Piangi person you've been seeing…

Pity, pity…

O.G.

PS. You can't possibly mean that green hat Christine was just simpering over. It's absolutely hideous! Honestly, I would have thought a diva of your standing would have better tastes. But then again, it's you...

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Guess what!

OMG, ur so stoopid! WatEVS! i hate yooo!

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: Guess what!

Hmm… I know! My guess is that you two aren't actually married! I'm pretty sure that's it, since I broke into your room yesterday, Chrissie, and ran a complete virus scan on your computer. Now, everything's all set, and you won't have these ridiculous ideas of marrying stalker-lunatics anymore!

Luv,  
Raoulsies

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: RE: Guess what!

Monsieur de Chagny,

I would have thought you had more sense than this silly theory shows! Not only have you invented a ridiculous theory, but you threaten to ruin the new happiness of such a romantic couple. How dare you suggest such a silly thing! If Chrissie is happy with the O.G., then who are we to doubt them?

Offended,  
Mme Giry

"Don't just do it, _dance_ it!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: RE: Guess what!

Not that it's your fault, Raoul, but you never were very bright. I know that it takes a while for you to process information…

I always knew those female-only pointe shoes (remember? You ones you threw a tantrum to get as a graduation present, just because you thought the ribbons were shiny) were going to ruin your feet, I just didn't know it was going to affect your intelligence too... -sigh-

"Everyone loves a well-educated man!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: RE: Guess what!

Yep! Ding ding ding ding! Ewiky and I aren't actually married.. yet! We just thought this would be a nice, non-traditional way of declaring our engagement:-)

That's right! We're engaged! Hee.. now you all have to buy us engagement presents too!

Whee!  
Soon-to-be Mrs. Erik (sorry, I still don't know your last name)

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** FW: RE: RE: Guess what!

OMG Mum!

Look! he's not maryed! I steal have a chanse!1 But lyk, now I relly have too win hes affekshuns, and fast!1 Mum, helppp… whatdoIdo? whatdoIdo?12

I meen, Im sooo much beter than whats-her-name in evry acepekt. Im pretie, im lyk, smarter to. besides, im taller1!

help meee  
-Meg

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: FW: RE: RE: Guess what!

Meg dearie,

Hmm.. one thing I can think of is your e-mailing. Firstly, spell check before you send out your e-mails. Also, try to use bigger words when you can – for example, use "intelligent" instead of "smart", etc. – the thesaurus can be your best ally here.

Mum

"Don't just do it, _dance_ it!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: FW: RE: RE: Guess what!

oooo. kewl! I hop this werks!

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** Greetings

Silage!1

Whets up? Leek, imp if truth be told in high spirits on behalf of you furthermore Christine.

Excluding immediately subsist doppelganger you and me, I be on familiar terms with tat you altogether traditions laved mi anchor. Disk why you hat to miry her, but I knot that you did watts best. Ooh. lye, did she thirteen you?1 omega, proviso she did, I can acquire her balk four you. Very soon sail ten ward, my lave!

Feel affection for the entire habits,  
-Meg

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: Greetings

Umm… I have two simple questions. One, where did you get this monstrosity, this tarnish on the face of the English (wait, or is it the French?) language? Two, what are you trying to communicate?

Befuddled,  
O.G.

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: Greetings

oh! I uced a spelcheke, and than a tethaurez. don't I sonde so much smar.. uh, more intellyjent?

btw, my emaile was this ouryginelly:

"Hay!1

Whats up? Lyk, im relly happy 4 u and Christine.

but just be twin you and me, I kno tat you all ways luved mi moor. idk why you hav to mary her, but I kno that you did wats best. oooh. lyk, did she threten you?1 omg, if she did, I can get her bak 4 you. just sai teh werd, my luv!

Luv all ways,  
-Meg"

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** Saksece!

Mum! I tink it werked! Erik definatelie thinks that im relly smart now!1

Thx for the help!  
Meg

-------------------------------------------------

**Authors' Note:** Sorry for the late update! Eloise had to take an unplanned trip to the emergency room on Monday, and ended up spending the rest of the week recuperating.

So, how do you like this turn of events (or actually, lack thereof…)? Relieved? Disappointed? Honestly don't care? Tell us in a review!


	18. Part XVIII

**Disclaimer:** we cry ourselves to sleep every night because we don't own it… but if anyone (-nudge nudge wink wink-) wants to give us ownership of everything PotO, then we can talk. Maybe just a little piece?

Oh look! A confrontation! What fun! -claps hands gleefully-

-------------------------------------------------

**Part XVIII**

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**CC: **castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** I hatee youuu

OMG, you twit! ive had enuf of you!11! Koncidar thes ah phormel chalinje, Christine Daaé, i shale dual you 4 my Erike!

- Meg, teh reel futur Misus Erike

PS. Mi deer manajirs, eef you wood arrainje a kompitishun for us to, tat'l lyk, b relly grate.

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** FW: I hatee youuu

My dear Madame,

I have a quick question that has been rather bothering me. What has caused Meg's sudden lack of spelling abilities? I remember she used to be quite grammatically correct as a little girl…

Yours,  
O.G.

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frenchlady (at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** undergroundlunatic (at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: FW: I hatee youuu

Dear Phantom,

Now that you mention it, I do find it a little strange… she has also been acting strangely, as if she's not quite herself. Indeed, she's downright nasty to her best friend! Ah well, I guess falling in love can do such things to a person, especially one as delicate as Meg!

Not that it's any of my business, O.G., but does your inquiring after my daughter mean that you're finally starting to like her too? My, my, what wonderful news!

Eager to become your mother-in-law,  
Mme Giry

"Don't just do it, _dance_ it!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: FW: I hatee youuu

Meg and myself? Oh, no, no, no, Madame, you're dreadfully mistaken! Yes yes, quite dreadfully…

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frenchlady (at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** undergroundlunatic (at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: FW: I hatee youuu

Ooh, no need to be embarrassed! Young love is such a wonderfully open topic in a society as modern as ours; you should not have any reservations in declaring your undying love for Meg.

"Don't just do it, _dance_ it!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**CC: **castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** FW: I hatee youuu

Per Mlle Giry's request, we are now holding a competition for her and Mlle Daaé in our chatroom. Everyone else, please feel free to join us, either as a volunteer judge, or as a witness to the fun!

Please, 11:58 PM sharp tonight. And, ladies, be sure to bring your wits with you!

Your Managers,  
Andre & Firmin

"I had a dream.. such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more..."

-------------------------------------------------

**Andre:** Welcome, ladies and germs, to the Official Opera Populaire Battle of the Beauties!

**Philippe: **The title needs work… sounds like a boat race…

**Firmin:** We are gathered here virtually to witness the competition between the carefully selected, the best and the brightest. The participants will try to their utmost abilities to secure victory for themselves and for their country. The challenges will be difficult, but they are determined, and we will witness their successes and failures. Welcome to… the FIFA World Cup!

**Nadir:** Um… what?

**Firmin:** I mean, the Meg vs. Christine thing. Whatever.

**Carlotta:** It's not like they were actually selected, either. I mean, I would have beat them both if there had been a selection process.

**Sorelli:** Exactly. It's just that one girl who can't spell and her challenge-issuing issues.

**Mme Giry:** That's my daughter you speak of so cruelly!

**Andre:** Um… moving on… why don't we introduce the judges now!

**Firmin:** We have… Vicomte Raoul de Chagny!

**Raoul:** Woo! Go Christine!

**Erik:** You do realize that you're cheering for her to become my bride, don't you?

**Raoul:** … Woo! Go Meg!

**Andre:** We have… Mme Giry!

**Mme Giry:** I am completely unbiased.

**Meg:** I luv you, Mummy.

**Firmin:** And finally, we have…. Gerik!

**Raoul: **Who's that?

**Erik:** He's a friend of mine… I felt that he would express my interests and opinions best.

**Gerik:** Also, I am pretty!

**Firmin:** Gerik has the honored position of Head Judge, since he is our guest.

**Gerik:** Thank you all! It's a pleasure to be here. Would you like me to sing a song for the commencement ceremony?

**Andre:** No, that's really okay.

**Sorelli:** Unless you want to sing the Point of No Return… then I'll be happy to hear it! -dazzling smile-

**Philippe:** Sori!

**Sorelli:** Sorry…

**Firmin:** Anyways, we have set this tournament up into 3 rounds. Each round will ask the competitors to showcase their talents in different areas, immediately followed by scoring from the judges on a 1-10 scale.

**Raoul:** Will there be a swimsuit competition?

**Firmin:** No.

**Gerik:** Aww.

**Nadir:** Damn!

**Mme Giry:** what's that?

**Nadir:** uhh… nothing!

**Andre: **Let's begin! The first round will be dancing. We have set up a video feed from the stage, where Christine and Meg are waiting to perform.

-------------------------------------------------

**Firmin:** You've all just seen Meg's ballet dancing. Comments from the judges?

**Mme Giry:** My! What wonderfully rendered pirouettes! And such nice fouettes and temps-leves! I must say.. a superb performance, Meg! A 10 out of 10.

**Gerik:** As a connoisseur of all arts…

**Nadir:** righto…

**Gerik:** I must say that Mlle Giry's dancing talents should be admired… brava! Also a perfect score!

**Erik:** Excuse me? Are you or are you not representing my best interests, oh fop-clone of mine?

**Gerik:** True, true. An 8 out of ten, then, the ribbons on her pointe shoes were a little askew.

**Raoul:** I agree most wholeheartedly that this was a wonderful dance. I'm a bit clueless as to ballet, though, so I'll go with the average and give a 9 out of 10.

**Andre:** Very well. Mlle Giry, your score so far is 27.

**Meg:** :D

-------------------------------------------------

**Erik:** Christine! Are you okay? That looked like a nasty fall!

**Christine:** I'm fine, I'm fine. I totally meant to do that!

**Firmin:** And! That was Christine's… uh… dance? Judges?

**Mme Giry:** That was, eh… very interesting, Christine. Although the basic idea was there, the execution… not so much. I'd say a 2 out of 10.

**Gerik:** Woo! Go Christine! Erik told me to vote for her, but that was a little… iffy. 6 out of 10.

**Raoul:** Her costume wasn't nearly as pretty and pink as Megs… but it did sparkle. I guess the shininess kind of redeems you a little bit. 8 out of 10.

**Erik:** Hah! The idiot!

**Raoul:** No! Wait! I forgot about Erik being my rival! I meant to give her a 4! Yeah, a 4!

**Christine:** But but… Waoulies! -throws mini-tantrum-

**Raoul: **Er.. how about 5, then? It's a nice, neutral number…

**Andre:** okay, stop! No more changing. Mlle Daaé, your score is lucky 13! Now, onto the next task. If you will, Firmie, old sport!

**Christine:** -wide-eyed… again-

**Firmin:** Yes, yes. For our next round, our two contestants will be asked to sing a song of their choice! We shall commence with Meg again.

**Andre:** O RLY?

**Firmin:** YA RLY!

**Andre:** NO WAI!

**Firmin:** PWN3D, N00B!

**Erik:** …

**Sorelli:** huh? what's going on?

**Philippe:** this, my dear Sori, it what they call the too-much-intarwebs syndrome. Very hard to cure, but quite commonplace nowadays, I'm afraid…

**Andre:** sorry, there, everyone, we got a little carried away…

**Nadir:** obviously!

**Firmin:** ahem. On with round two, with the singing (and quite possibly some croaking) competition! Whoo!

-------------------------------------------------

**Authors' Note:** We were going to put everything into a single chapter, but it's a bit too long… How's this for a showdown between Meg and Christine? Review and tell us… lest you don't want to see the next part!

PS. Who can spot the "The Great Gatsby" quote? Okay, two words don't quite constitute a quote, per se, but still…


	19. Part XIX

**Authors' Note:** We don't own anything… actually, we own plenty, including a shiny new iPod (Eloise's) and a metric ton of physics notes (Elizabeth's). (Oh yeah, and that pile of AP homework that Eloise hasn't touched yet, just so we can get this chapter out… we marvel at our own selflessness sometime.) However, we do not own PotO or any other pop culture mentioned here.

-------------------------------------------------

**Part XIX**

**Andre:** Judges, what did you think of Meg's performance?

**Mme Giry:** Oh, Meggie, your voice was stunning, as always! I am so proud of you. 10 out of 10!

**Gerik:** Whose performance were you hearing? She was awful!

**Mme Giry:** You horrible (yet oddly attractive) phantom-ghost-man! Meg, you were perfect, of course.

**Gerik:** Half of her song was painfully off-key!

**Mme Giry:** Oh, and you're one to talk…

**Firmin:** She rather sounded like she was having her vocal chords ripped out

**Erik:** No no, my dear sir, I assure you, she sounded more like she accidentally turned into a duck-kazoo hybrid

**Mme Giry:** Fineee, you whiners. 6 out of 10. Happy?

**Andre:** Um… so, Raoul, what score do you want to give her?

**Raoul:** Well, her voice kind of made my glass crack… from across the opera house. 2 out of 10.

**Mme Giry:** Monsieur de Chagny! I never thought you were such a cruel, cold-hearted, unfeelingman.

**Raoul:** I do feel! I felt glass shards poking into my eye not five minute ago... On the other hand, I'll give her a 3, because I really did like the song.

**Gerik:** You would.

**Raoul:** Hey!

**Sorelli:** I liked it too!

**Erik:** The line about giving her heart to an angel was, uh, interesting…

**Meg:** -dreamy sigh-

**Firmin:** Meg, performers aren't supposed to be replying to comments… and Gerik, what score did you give?

**Gerik:** 1 out of 10… her hairstyle was a little cute. Reminds me of Christine's hair that one time when she had on raccoon-makeup…

**Andre:** Uh… well, let's hear Christine now!

-------------------------------------------------

**Firmin:** Wow-zah! That was absolutely perfect, I must say!

**Mme Giry:** That's up to the judges, I'm afraid. I personally see nothing good about her crooning

**Raoul:** but she sang so prettily! 10 out of 10

**Mme Giry:** she sounded like she was about to die…

**Gerik:** no! It was goooood! You have to give her a good score, or I'll… I'll… I'll threaten you!

**Mme Giry:** ah well, Meg's going to win anyways, what can a couple of points do? 8 out of 10

**Raoul:** but that's the point! I think… wait… what's the song about? I couldn't really hear her through all the fake crying

**Gerik:** well, "My Immortal"… judging by the title, it should be about something immortal?

**Andre:** so what things are immortal?

**Raoul:** Cinderella? They never said that she dies…

**Erik:** just… no.

**Meg:** no? i tink thats pocibal

**Raoul:** can't help it! I was always the pretty one; Philippe inherited all the brains

**Philippe:** vampires?

**Gerik:** fraternizing with those no-good suckers? nooo… not my Christine!

**Erik:** Hey, she's not _yours_

**Gerik:** Same difference. Actually, I've always wondered about that phrase… how can something be same yet different?

**Erik:** well, it's an oxymoron

**Raoul:** a whaa?

**Erik:** an oxy-

**Andre:** moving on! What else, Philippe?

**Philippe:** umm… the devil? zombies? ghosts? wait, no, those are dead… angels?

**Gerik:** OMG yessssh! I love you too, Christine! 10 out of 10!

**Firmin:** huh?

**Gerik:** She calls Erik… me… us? Yeah, us, her "Angel of Music"...

**Raoul:** huh… guess that's why I see "I -heart- AoM" all over Christine's notebooks…?

**Erik:** heh, looks like we got a smart one here

**Raoul:** why thank-- omg! That's why I see "I -heart- AoM" all over Christine's notebooks!1 Oh no! The horror! -cries-

**Firmin:** right, well, let's tally up the scores… Meg, you have a total of 37 points

**Andre:** and Christine, you have… wait, that's not right… negative 15?

**Firmin:** no, dear Andie-bumpkin! That's the subtraction button! You want the one that looks like a plus! Christine's score is 41.

**Andre:** oh.

**Gerik:** Hooray! Go Christine!

**Raoul:** Yay! Wait.. nay? I'm confused…

**Firmin:** now… with Christine in the lead, we move on to the last part of tonight's program, the SATs!

**Mme Giry:** the what?

**Andre:** some sort of weird American standardized testing for high school kids he picked up while backpacking across the continent…

**Firmin:** It is the ultimate test of knowledge and skill!

**Erik:** Skill?

**Firmin:** Filling in the little bubbles is an art form unto itself.

**Andre:** Well, we must give Christine and Meg 3 hours to complete this test. Shall we adjourn for the time, or would you like to hear my halftime commentary?

**Philippe:** I think we should adjourn.

**Andre:** Are you sure? I have some interesting insights, and we could do recaps…

**Erik:** That's really okay.

**Andre:** I could draw the little football vectors for their dances:-)

**Nadir:** Run, people!

-------------------------------------------------

**Firmin:** Welcome back! Our rented Scantron machine has been chugging away, and the scores are in. We won't need judges in this round. Instead, the participants will be awarded one point for every 100 points they earn on the test.

**Meg:** Oh-em-gee…i just got mi skor…

**Mme Giry:** Yes?

**Meg:** 1580!

**Andre:** Oh dear… out of 2400? Well, Mlle Giry, it looks like you need to do more studying…

**Firmin:** Ah, I was only able to get some old copies, so this is out of 1600, with two sections each worth 800 points total.

**Sorelli:** so Meg got almost a perfect score?

**Raoul:** Obviously, the test was completely simple. Christine, dear, how did you do?

**Christine:** Um… 640?

**Philippe:** On which section?

**Christine: **huh?

-------------------------------------------------

**Authors' Note:** Meg's song is "How Long" by Dream, by the way, and Christine's is "My Immortal" by Evanescence. Judge them by the songs, not us! Really, we in no way condone the singing of or listening to these songs.

Next chapter: the aftermath, and a strange new thing called OperaJournal. Hmm…

Elizabeth would like to say: Woo Italy! Zidane sucks!

Eloise would also like to add: Zidane does not suck, he's just misunderstood. Like Erik. So there. Vive la France…

PS. Review please?


	20. Part XX

Sorry guys, we tried to update earlier, but it wouldn't let us upload the document. And then when we finally thought of a clever way to do it, FFN wouldn't load _at all_. :-(

**Disclaimer:** We wish we own it. Then we'd be rich. Think of the chandeliers we can buy (and smash) with that kind of money!

-------------------------------------------------

**Part XX**

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Heyy!

Hi evry1!

I kno, i kno, i wone!1 This is sooooo kewl! cuz that meens mi and eric r ingajed! woo! yay 4 meee!

relly happi,  
Meg

PS. Evry1 start bying mi whedding giftz!  
PPS. Eric, fuchar hubby, deer… were's mye ring?1 i wants it nowe!11

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com (**MINUS** blondeballetrat); prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** A secret meeting

Hello my fellow Operettes,

Is anyone else getting frustrated by Meg's deteriorating typing skills? (wait, don't answer that, I don't want my inbox clogged with "yah!"s.) The truth is, I can't take this anymore! I'm losing my mind! This is pure torture! Cruel and unusual punishment! It's not fair… you don't have to put up with her 24-7! Seriously! She's even _speaking_ in it!

Whew, sorry about that rant. Strange though; I'm usually not even fond of exclamation points. Anyways, ladies, gentlemen, and Nadir – hah! I made a joke! – hmm.. I don't know what's happening; must have been something in my morning Vodk… I mean, tea. Anyways, I'm proposing that we meet tonight, midnight, in the main dance studio, to discuss an emergency plan…

Rather giggly and hyper,  
Mme Giry

"Don't just do it, _dance_ it!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com (**MINUS** blondeballetrat); prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: A secret meeting

Hey guys,

Plan A failed. I tried to talk to Meg and get her to talk about her feelings, just like we decided last night.

Well, she didn't really give me a chance to say anything. As soon as I walked in, she called me a… a… -cringes- Anyways, then she started to throw various things at me, including her hair straightener (which, btw, left a bruise).

So yeah, Carlotta, your turn for plan B, I guess…

Ouch,  
Christine

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: A secret meeting

Dear Christine,

Bruise? Oh no! My poor Chrissie!

Love always,  
Raoul

PS. Now that Erik's marrying Meg, are we gonna get back together?

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** divalady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com (**MINUS** blondeballetrat); prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: RE: A secret meeting

Eww… the little blonde thing's… eww.

Well, I tried to "scare" her, like you asked, into better spelling, but the frail idiot fainted at the sight of me. Unfortunately, I think she's still breathing. Ugh.

M. le Fantome, have fun with Plan C!

La Carlotta

"Superior Singer"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: A secret meeting

Well… not really, but since Meg's going all psycho on me, you can replace her as my best friend. We can go on shopping trips, and you can show me where you get your nails done! )

Chrissie

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com (**MINUS** blondeballetrat); prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: A secret meeting

Messieurs et Mesdames,

Plan C was a great success, as I knew it would be! With my uber creeping-around-at-night-unseen skills, I successfully snuck into her room and planned The Object at the head of her bed. Voila! Now, we just wait for the results, and revel in my… our… no, _my_ cleverness!

Yours,  
O.G.

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Weird…

Hey all,

So I woke up this morning, and there was this tape player next to my head, playing some strange words over and over again. I think it said something about spelling and grammar? Anyways, I just wanted you all to know, and if the tape player's yours, please feel free to come and pick it up!

Meg

PS. Christine, my word! I haven't seen you at all for the past week… where did you disappear off to? Come to think of it, I don't remember what happened for about the last month. What's going on?

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com (**MINUS** blondeballetrat); prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Eureka!

Woohoo! (sorry, vodka's not wearing off yet!)

Good work everyone! But did you all see her e-mail? She doesn't remember what's going on! It almost seems as if she was cursed, or mind-controlled, or possessed for the last month!

I think the next step in our plan should be to find out what happened to Meg. Think of it! Our very own whodunit!

Yours,  
Mme Giry

"Don't just do it, _dance_ it!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** duckducknoose(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com (**MINUS** blondeballetrat); prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: Eureka!

Well, since I am the only one of us with police and crime-catching experience, I call first dibs on the Head Investigator position.

-Nadir

"There's a reason I'm not called 'Apex'"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com (**MINUS** blondeballetrat); prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: RE: Eureka!

However, since I am the only one of us with criminal tendencies and a criminal mind, and therefore can easily place myself into the perpetrator's shoes, I am also very valuable to this case. Thus, Nadir, I think it's only right for us to be Co-Heads.

O.G.

PS. The fop can get us coffee and doughnuts!

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com (**MINUS** blondeballetrat); bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: Eureka!

Hey, I resent that!

I'm not a fop. I'm a pansy.

-Raoul

PS. I'm not exactly sure what "pansy" means. It's on my A-Word-A-Day toilet paper, and defined only as "le Vicomte de Chagny," so I assume it must be a flattering term. Anyway, it's also the name of a pretty flower! I do so love flowers.

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettypirouettes(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com (**MINUS** blondeballetrat); prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** New Theory!

I have an idea of what may have happened to Meg. As you all know, she is a very good friend of mine. Even though she had been acting strangely recently, we always met for girls' nights and painted out nails and had spa treatments and watched movies… Well, during the last month or so she started getting sooo obsessed with the Opera Ghost. It was all O.G. this and Phantom that while I was trying to tell her about Philippe!

Like the O.G. says, he has the criminal background, and not much fondness for Meg. I think he brainwashed her so that he would have an admirer to abuse!

Scandalized,  
La Sorelli

"Coupé, coupe. jeté, jeté, assemblé!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** FW: New Theory!

Oh-em-gee, Chrissy, we should totally have a party like that! I'll come by tonight with my Special Edition Spa Hair Treaments. Do you want strawberry-coconut blend or raspberry-mint? Eee, I'm so excited!

Squealing,  
Raoul

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com (**MINUS** blondeballetrat); prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: New Theory!

Never fear, everyone, I have uncovered the true answer! I knew, of course, that my Angel of Music could not have committed such an awful crime. When Raouly-poo and I had our slumber par-tay last night, we looked through all of my Harry Potter books. Okay, actually we were talking about how hot Snape is (he's tall, dark, handsome, brooding, _and_ he's a Master! For some reason I find all of that very attractive). Anyway, I had a revelation: Meg has been under the Imperius curse! Obviously we ended the spell somehow with the grammar tapes.

Glad to clear my Angel's name,  
Christine

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com (**MINUS** blondeballetrat); prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: RE: New Theory!

Interestingly, Nadir and I have come to a similar conclusion. All evidence points to Meg being put under a spell by a vindictive and unstable phangirl. Obviously this phangirl was tragically obsessed with my attractive self, so she used her knowledge of the Harry Potter series to control Meg and force her to act like the phangirl. We broke the spell for good, since the good grammar/spelling tapes were a sort of kryptonite to the phangirl.

Completely vigilant,  
Erik

P.S.: As an apology for doubting me, I will expect a raise of 2,000 francs.

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To: **castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com (**MINUS** blondeballetrat); prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: New Theory!

Dear everyone,

Thank you so much for helping me get my sweet, non-spelling-challenged daughter back! Oh, I am so touched by the concern you have all showed for my Meg… and for my sanity. As a thank-you gift, I would like to give you tomorrow as a day free from all duties… I'd like to, but unfortunately I don't have that authority. Sorry!

Touched,  
Mme Giry

"Don't just do it, _dance_ it!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Another mystery!

We have recently discovered some distressing news. There will be a meeting for all cast, crew, andde Chagnysat 5 PM on the stage. Be there or be… suspected.

Your managers,  
Andre and Firmin

"I had a dream… such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more…"

-------------------------------------------------

**Authors' Note:** Hee, they are turning into a bunch of Sherlock Holmes-es (dun dun _dun_...). Well, hopefully this clears up a few things about Meg's… odd behavior.


	21. Part XXI

It's a bird! It's a plane! No... oh-em-gee, it's oh-eitch-ee!

**Disclaimer:** We don't own it, and maybe you should be glad.

-------------------------------------------------

**Part XXI**

**From:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** SAT Scandal!

To anyone who thought themselves too good for us and did not deign to show up at the mandatory opera house meeting (PHILLIPE AND SORELLI, cough cough):

After a few inquiries, we discovered, much to our distress, that the SAT results from the earlier battle between Christine and Meg were… faked! We had been a bit suspicious, we must admit, since we didn't think Meg was capable of a nearly perfect score… or, that is, that the dim-witted phangirl controlling her at the time was capable of it, of course. Meg is a very intelligent and precocious girl, as Mme Giry was kind enough to point out a few dozen times at the meeting.

Well, opera minions—we mean, valued workers, now that you have had some time to think this shocking development over, what are your opinions?

Your detecting managers,  
Andie'n'Firmie

"I had a dream… such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: SAT Scandal!

Wait, test results can be faked? I didn't know that… if I had known that, I might have gotten into my dream college…

Oh, it's so awful to discover the opportunities I missed out on:-(

Falling into a black pit of despair,  
Raoul

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: RE: SAT Scandal!

As I recall, little brother, your dream college was a fashion design school… and they refused to admit you (despite bribes) because of that awful hat you designed. Oh well, at least Carlotta likes it!

Shuddering at the memory,  
Philippe

"Everyone loves a well-educated man!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net;  
bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net

**Subject:** RE: SAT Scandal!

Umm… I think that whoever changed Meg's score also changed mine… I know I couldn't have gotten a 640! I mean, I'm sure that I got 200 points for putting my name on, and probably some extra credit for filling in the bubbles so neatly in the shape of a G-clef. Also, Raoul was tutoring me during my review before the math section! I'm so impressed that he remembers so much geometry… I know I aced all of those questions about 200 degrees being in a triangle!

Smarter than you think,  
Christine

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** duckducknoose(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Be glad that someone has actually been on the case…

By making use of some of my top-secret connections, I have discovered clear signs that the phangirl, acting through Meg, broke into Andre and Firmin's office soon after the SAT results were delivered and changed hers. Christine, I think that yours was not tampered with. Now that this case is closed, can we go back to actually performing operas? Because I have really been honing my stage-hand skills lately in my free time…

Eager to show off,  
Nadir

"There's a reason I'm not called 'Apex.'"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Recent Developments

Dear all,

First of all, I'd like to thank you for rescuing me from that phangirl. Do you have any idea how awful it was to hear this powerful voice in your head 24/7 nattering on about the virtues and hotness of the Opera Ghost? Oh wait, maybe Christine does. Anyway, I have come to see her point about the Phantom... but I'm still glad she's gone!

Also, I want to make sure that you realize I am back to normal, and that I totally could have won that contest without needing to cheat, had I been myself!

Luv from,  
the REAL Meg

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: Recent Developments

OMG WHAT?1

I demand a recount… I mean, a rematch!

Righteously enraged,  
Christine

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frenchlady(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Trivia Contest!

Citizens of the Opera Populaire (and an Underground Lurker):

At 7'o'clock this evening, the opera chatroom will be hosting the rematch to determine the intelligence levels of Meg and Christine and the final scores in their competition for the Opera Ghost. I'm sure you don't want to miss an exciting battle for troo luv!

Since the SATs are now regarded with suspicion, we will have a contest of useless facts and trivia (which, some may argue, is no different from the SATs). For each question answered correctly, the contestant will get one point. May the best triv-ster win!

Looking forward to watching Meg's victory,  
Mme Giry

"Don't just do it… _dance_ it!"

-------------------------------------------------

**Chat Room of Triviality**

-------------------------------------------------

**Andre:** Hallo!

**Firmin:** and

**Andre:** welcome

**Firmin:** to

**Andre:** our

**Firmin:** own

**Andre:** Chatroom

**Firmin:** of

**Andre:** Triviality!

**Firmin:** hey, I know we decided to split the intro, but why do I get all the non-interesting words?1 :-(

**Andre:** Because you're a dunce, _duh_…

**Firmin:** well, just because I'm not shrewd and calculating like _some_ people we know…

**Nadir:** gentlemen, please, you're bickering like an old married couple! This sort of thing is best left for behind the bedroom door!

**Christine:** …

**Philippe:** uh…

**Raoul:** the mental image…

**Meg:** eww?

**Nadir:** oops, didn't mean it like _that_

**Erik:** honestly, there's no other way it could've been meant…

**Sorelli:** please! there are ladies present!

**Nadir:** fineee. Sorry, Antoinette. Happy?

**Sorelli:** I meant me!

**Raoul:** you're a lady?

**Erik:** obviously we are learning new things already!

**Firmin:** right, well, we're here for trivia!

**Andre:** now, we're just going to give a trivia question, and Meg shall answer first, since she has the lower score so far. If she cannot, Christine will have a shot at it.

**Firmin:** Andie! You're stealing all my good lines……

**Andre:** sorry sweetums.

**Firmin:** whatever. First question: What note do orchestras typically tune to?

**Mme Giry:** guys, can't you come up with something more… I don't know… but we live in an opera house! this is surely common knowledge…

**Meg:** umm… how many notes are there?

**La Carlotta:** 10 semi-tones in the scale, obviously…

**Erik:** Nono, my dear toa – lady. 12 semi-tones, 12! No wonder you're always off-key…

**Gerik:** really? Interesting! That explains why I always sing flat...

**Meg:** so… uhm…

**Philippe:** oh, come now, Meg. Take a guess! you have a one-out-of-twelve chance getting it right…

**Meg:** well, I've only heard of C, because Christine always rambles about how that's her Angel's favorite note, so C?

**Andre:** nope, Christine?

**Christine:** A, of course!

**Firmin:** right you are! Next question: What's the ninth letter of the Greek alphabet?

**Meg:** what's the greek alphabet?

**Philippe:** like alpha, beta, pi…

**Meg:** oh, well, if there's only those three, then there isn't a ninth one! it's a trick question!

**Christine:** nuh uh! it's iota!

**Andre:** right again, Christine! Ahem, what's the boiling point of water?

**Meg:** 212! I know… because I just google'd it

**Christine:** isn't it 100?

**Andre:** 100, yes. Don't forget Meg, we're NOT in the US, no matter what the fan phics say. Here in France we use Celsius… the dignified unit of temperature!

**Firmin:** oooh, are we going American-bashing? I love American-bashing! Almost as fun as fop-bashing. But alas, my lawyer made me quit… something about public image and credibility issues… :-(

**Andre:** no, we're not. Moving on: if a creature is "opodous," what does it not have?

**Meg:** a pod?

**Meg:** oooh, wait, no. An iPod? That would indeed be a travesty.

**Christine:** or, you know, feet…

**Firmin:** amazing! Mlle Daaé has answered correctly again! Next: In architecture, what is a "lancet"?

**Meg:** a miniature lance?

**Raoul:** icky! that'll be so tacky…

**Christine:** a window!

**Andre:** yes, yes, absolutely! May I ask, Mlle Daaé, how you are able to answer all of these correctly?

**Mme Giry:** exactly my thoughts. I don't remember teaching you these things as a ballet rat!

**Philippe:** it is… rather… curious…

**Christine:** umm! -flushes- I don't know, but I know one thing for sure!

**Raoul:** what's that?

**Christine:** Erik's _definitely not_ sitting next to me and giving me the answers O:-)

**Meg:** O.o

-------------------------------------------------

**Authors' Note:** here we go! Hope this chapter's up to par! Oh, and that's _definitely not_ Andre/Firmin hints that you see. We swear. Because, you know, us writing that is as probable as Erik/Raoul subtext cropping up in the future. -shifty looks-

PS. Eloise's trying to program a Java-based PotO simulation game to demonstrate her supreme cleverness. She shall be eternally grateful if anyone can help her with a floorplan for Erik's underground home.


	22. Part XXII

**Disclaimer:** We don't own it, we only run amok with it.

**Side note:** we just realized our lack of a plot… but as if that gets in the way of _real_ writers!

-------------------------------------------------

**Part XXII**

**From:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** The Final Results (Again)

Well folks, we have tallied up the scores of Meg and Christine. Drumroll please!

Christine has 46 points, and Meg has 37!

Now, most of you would assume this means that Christine has won… well, those of you with basic math skills... which, we guess, doesn't really mean the most of you... However, yet another problem has come to our attention—the matter of Christine's violation of the rules. Yes, being the clever managers we are, we were monitoring both contestants with sneakily hidden webcams at their computers! The cam footage proves that Christine had outside assistance and must be disqualified. It also proved that Meg has a rather repulsive nail-biting habit. She's all yours, monsieur Phantom!

We hope that the end of this contest will be the beginning of a long and profitable period of _actually practicing for performances_.

Luvs,  
Andie'n'Firmie

"I had a dream… such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: The Final Results (Again)

Well, I really only continued the contest to prove my own brilliance. Obviously you all owe me apologies for doubting my skills… I was such a formidable opponent that Christine felt the need to cheat! Anyways, I am kind of over this whole thing now, so whatever. I have moved on to bigger and better things… like Scrabble. Anyone want to play me?

The reigning champion,  
Meg

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Desolation and Despair

Monsieur le Fo — I mean, Pansy,

I'm feeling rather… lost now that no one's fighting over me. It's actually rather off-putting. I have come to the intelligent conclusion that it is because I ran out of your very special watermelon mist hair treatments.

Additionally, I would like to enquire as to how you manage to attract the ladies so. Is there perhaps a secret formula for male beauty?

O.G.

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: Desolation and Despair

Monsieur le Fantôme,

Actually, I just came up with a new product, Regal Manicures, guaranteed to make your nails shine with a brilliance equal to that of my dazzling smile! Now comes in three brand new shades of Flirty Pink, Alluring Lavender, and Breathtaking Purple.

My RM Standard set includes 12 basic colors, but, for only double the price, I can upgrade you to our Semi-Regal Deluxe: 12 basics plus the three new shades mentioned above. Act now and don't miss this incredible, once-in-a-day-tops offer!

Yours,  
Raoul, Head Designer, Inventor, and Overall Overseer of Regal Manicures

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: RE: Desolation and Despair

Vicomte de Pansy,

I am tempted by your offer, as I have always wanted Flirty and Alluring nails. However, I must confess that I have no experience in the fine art of nail-painting. I have an idea that could solve my problem and help you expand your rather pathet—I mean, tiny business. I propose that we start a spa business! I've heard that spas are in style these days, and I'm sure that no one will even notice if we took over the large rehearsal room as a business venue, the way practices have been going (or rather, not going) these days.

I will, of course, demand a cut of the profits, but I'm sure that you'll find me to be a quite efficient business partner, especially in striking fear into the hearts of any inspectors or critics. Here's to a successful business venture!

Cheers,  
O.G.

P.S.: If you don't want to face my wrath, you will _not_ mention to Christine that I read the article about spas in her latest issue of Vogue.

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettyinpink(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Announcing a Grand Opening!

Valued customers,

Many of you are faithful fans of my marvelous Vicomte Beautiful hair products and my newer line of Regal Manicures nail products, so I know you will all be _super thrilled_ about the opening of a new business right here at the Opera Populaire: VIP Spa! Yes, that's right, the resident O.G. and I have combined our shrewd business (and fashion!) senses to bring you a spa. Of course, we will have outside customers as well, but any members of the opera house should come- you might even get a discount, if I'm feeling nice.

Well, we are now hiring, and the spa will open tomorrow. Woo-hoo!

Luvs,  
Raoul, Manager and General Co-Ruler of VIP Spa

PS. Don't worry, Erik, I won't tell tell Christine that you read about spas in her latest issue of Vogue, or that you're the one who's been stealing her copies of Cosmo!

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: Announcing a Grand Opening!

Oh-em-gee, this is soo exciting! I am a devoted consumer of your Mango Coconut Cucumber Swirl shampoo, of course, Vicomte de Chagny. Do you think I could work at the spa? I am really good at hairstyling, and I could help out lots! Plus, it'll give me an excuse to be too busy to spend 5 hours a day stretching and pirouetting. Don't tell my mother I said that!

A big fan,  
Meg

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** duckducknoose(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** FW: Announcing a Grand Opening!

Nadir, old friend,

I seem to remember your particular talent for nail art which was such a hit with the ladies in Persia. The fop and I were hoping for your talents at the new franchise—I mean, homely little spa shop. Of course, I could just tell the managers about your boundless passion for painting giant backdrops with minute details all over them. That would certainly give you enough work.

What do you say?

An equal opportunity employer,  
Erik

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**CC:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: Announcing a Grand Opening!

Sup guys!

First of all, -squee-, congratulations! This is awesome! ;-)

Secondly, what does VIP stand for? I see that word everywhere, you know: parking, hotel rooms (like that one my dear tutor took me to…), etc.

Toodles,  
Chrissie

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**CC:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: RE: Announcing a Grand Opening!

Oh! Jolly, jolly good! An opportunity to educate fellow Opera-ers; sharing is caring, after all!

VIP, dear Mlle Daaé, means "Very Important Person." Beware, though, 'tis a formidable title indeed!

Tothe spirit of sharing-n-caring,  
Andie-n-Firmie

"I had a dream.. such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more..."

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: Announcing a Grand Opening!

Actually, Mesdames et Messieurs,

In this specific case, VIP stands for Very Important Phantom. Rather fitting, isn't it? And it's so kind of the fop-pansy hybrid to advocate my supremeness so actively!

O.G.

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net;  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: RE: Announcing a Grand Opening!

Wait! What?

Really?

I thought we decided it means Vicomte is Phantastic! I mean, it only makes sense, no?

Agitated, yet still Phantastic,  
Raoul

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**CC:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** Problem!

Well, whatever the name of the spa is, we have a larger problem. I recently received a notice (which almost met an unfortunate doom in my spiffy canal system before being rescued by a net) claiming that we are harboring a secret sex business! They claim that reports have come in saying that a certain masseuse and a certain well-known customer have been, well, doing more than massaging. In order to avoid a lawsuit, Sorel -- anonymous masseuse, we must order you to either get a prostitution license or quit!

Certainly not snickering at all,  
O.G.

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** prettypirouettes(at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** FW: Problem!

Don't worry, snookie-tootles, I'll get you out of this mess! I'm buying a prostitution license for you right now. Aren't you happy?

Your devoted luv,  
Philippe

"Everyone loves a well-educated man!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**CC:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: Problem!

Well, as… er… happy as we are to hear that the problem is resolved (and we now boast an official prostitute as a leading ballerina), larger problems are dooming the VIP Spa… Namely that we need our rehearsal room back! Yes, we are actually still doing operas, people, and that means that rehearsal is necessary. We will expect the spa products to have made their way out of the rehearsal room by tomorrow, although we fear that the scent of nail polish may be a bit more lasting.

Mssrs O.G. and de Chagny, we do encourage you to continue with your business ventures. Perhaps with an actual venue and some advice from us, you'll find yourselves following in the great entrepreneur-ing footsteps of Andre and Firmin! Preferably after we have already made our riches, though.

Looking forward to making more money,  
Andie and Firmie

"I had a dream… such publicity! But it was a dream, and nothing more.."

-------------------------------------------------

**Authors' Note:** Why, it looks like Erik does have a sensitive side after all! Or maybe he just feels pretty with pink nails. You never quite know.

PS. Dear readers, review! Your kind words make us feel warm and fuzzy inside… and warm and fuzzy writers update faster!


	23. Part XXIII

We're back! Ish.

**Disclaimer:** Eng. (n.) a person who disclaims. Fr. (v.) to disclaim.

**-------------------------------------------------**

**Part XXIII**

**From:** prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net;  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: New Opera, Patron, and a Cool Quiz

Hello, good friends!

Now, I know I'm a _wee-_tle late with this, but better Nate than le… late than never, right?

**Basic Info:**

_Name?_ Raoul de Chagny the Fair  
_Age?_ young and beautiful, of course  
_Eye color?_ pretty-boy blue  
_Hair color?_ a dazzling gold… but the important thing about my hair is its body and shine… Why doesn't this quiz have a question about hair _style?_ A tragic oversight!  
_Height?_ 6-feet-plus of foppy-muscle

**Faves:**

_Country?_ Paris, duh, it's only the fashion capital of the _world_…  
_Food?_ exotic delicacies that enhance the skin  
_Movie?_ Cinderella. That Prince Charming sure is a pretty guy (he's my idol)  
_Drink?_ exotic fruit juices that enhance the skin  
_Animal?_ I'm really not a fan. Such coarse hair!  
_Color?_ Pink… but lavender isn't so bad

**Are you:**

_Nice?_ -flashes 1000-watt smile- look at my pearly-whites!  
_Sarcastic?_ naw! -flashes even brighter smile-  
_Funny?_ people point and laugh when they see me, is that a good thing?

**Finally:**

_Do you remember your dreams?_ Yes, I had one last night… Christine was there, and so was… Erik? I dunno, but whoever it was didn't have a shirt on…  
_Do you believe in soulmates?_ Oh, my sweet Eri – Christine!  
_Do you believe in love at first sight?_ Umm… nope, no love yet. But I'm sure attracted to Er – Christine  
_What was your favorite childhood toy?_ My dollhouse! It had hardwood floors! And this really pretty pink sofa…  
_Thoughts on life?_ Peace, man. I'm totally a flower child…  
_Who do you want to be stuck on an island with?_ E – dammit! Christine.  
_What did you do before Opera?_ I'd rather not share; it wasn't too legal.

Best,  
Raoul

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** New Opera!  
**Attachment:** ScamPlan3217803. doc

Hello all!

Your lovely, awesome, spectacularly clever managers have come up with a spiffily new idea to make more money… er, that is, to entertain the audience. We shall make a new opera out of our situation! So the plot is:

There's a young, orphaned ballet dancer named Kristin who works (surprise surprise!) at an opera house much like our own. But actually, she's a really good singer, and there's an unseen "spectre" who lurks under the opera house teaching her to sing; oh yes, his name is Enrique. Now, Enrique's _secretly_ (yea right…) in love with Kristin, who's sort-of-not-really in love with her childhood friend, Roland, who's _definitely_ in love with her almost as much as himself. Almost.

Kristin has a best friend named Marge. She's really just a plot device so Kristin doesn't get too emo and kill herself before the whole drama with Enrique. Roland, see, has an older brother named Phil, who's having this v. illicit affair with Serena, the lead ballerina.

By the way, they just release this movie that basically has the same plotline as us, but they're getting flamed for not staying true to the Leroux plot. That's why we're going to be all-Leroux! But we do know one good thing, since the movie didn't stress the actual plot very much, we're not going to either. Instead, we're going to focus on the sexual innuendos and stuff that the movie had; it's sure to draw crowds!

For the rest of the plot, please see attachment.

We now need to cast everyone into their parts. Messieurs Comte et Vicomte, we are currently short of staff, so we're going to have to ask you to take part in the acting as well. :-)

Cast:

Enrique – the Spectre of the Opera  
Kristin – the young ballerina-soprano hybrid  
Roland – the childhood friend-lover guy

Marge – Kristin's confidante  
Serena – the "loose woman"  
Phil – the, for lack of a better term, "loose man"

Mme. Giry – the box-keeper, not a ballet mistress  
Karly – the Prima Donna  
Bingo – Karly's lover

Note: Nadir is omitted because he's unimportant; the movie cut him and Leroux didn't even mention his name.

This is an open casting call. Please e-mail us if you have a role that you prefer, but we shall make the final judgments.

Your ever-ingenious managers,  
Andre-n-Firmin

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** prettypirouettes(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: RE: New Opera, Patron, and a Cool Quiz

Now, why do people sign their e-mails "best"?1

I mean, "best" – what? Best regards, best wishes, best of luck, best of show, best shot, best bib and tucker?…. what?

Non-best,  
Sorelli

PS. Sorry, just PMS-y  
PPS. better Nate than lever? Care to explain?

"Coupé, coupé, jeté, jeté, assemble!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: New Opera, Patron, and a Cool Quiz

Hey guys,

I agree with Sori, mostly because she can make things difficult for me quite easily, but nevertheless, I agree with her.

Personally, I sign my e-mails with a nice...

Yours faithfully,  
Philippe de Chagny

PS. Sori, you reeaally don't want to hear a better Nate than lever story. I've heard it… a lot of times, unfortunately. Raoul, fool me once shame on you. Fool me seventeen times, still shame on you! If you do it again, I'm going to tell everyone about how you were Juliet for the school play!

"Everyone loves a well-educated man!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: RE: New Opera, Patron, and a Cool Quiz

Hi all,

Umm, first off, Sori, I was just doing some research for health class, and it turns out mood swings and all that opera don't exist. And, can you believe sugar highs are fable too?1 I know, utterly shocking, but woo, now I have my project idea for Psychology class!

I think, with my tutor's permission, of course, that "yours faithfully" is a bit old-school. I'm a supporter of the more colloquial e-mail-enders.

Toodles!  
- Chrissie

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** undergroundlunatic(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: New Opera, Patron, and a Cool Quiz

Fools,

I know for certain that I have the most correct, proper, concise, elegant, and overall sublime letter closing of them all.

Yours,  
O.G.

See? Nice and simple. Brevity is… wit.

"The Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** blondeballetrat(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: New Opera, Patron, and a Cool Quiz

Eww, Erik. You make it sound like we are all having wicked love affairs with each other or something. "Yours" indeed…

Platonically,  
Meg

PS. Not that I'd mind an affair… just not with a mildly sunburned guy, no offense.

PPS. Hey Chrissie! I can be totally philosophical, watch this: If power corrupts, and knowledge is power, then you should really stop with the whole taking college classes thing.

"Cute and blonde since 1854!"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** frozenexpression(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** blondeballetrat (at)operapopulaire. com  
**Subject:** RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: New Opera, Patron, and a Cool Quiz

Between you and me, whoa, that's deep. O.o

Totally psyched about Psych,  
Chrissie

"…angel of music…"

-------------------------------------------------

**From:** welovepublicity(at)operapopulaire. com  
**To:** castncrew(at)operapopulaire. com; prettyinpink(at)dechagny. net; bigbrotha(at)dechagny. net  
**Subject:** FW: New Opera!

Okay, since no one bothered to reply to our casting call, we're just going to assign roles. And to explain some… _controversial_ castings, we've added some justifications.

**Enrique** – la Carlotta; she's got the looks for it! Plus, awesomely scratchy voice; Italian accent might even be mistaken for a sexy Scottish brogue.  
**Kristin** – Meg; she's got the right hair color.  
**Roland** – Erik; we know, he's got that sad excuse for a deformity, but it's practically nonexistent and easily covered by foundation, so, no worries! Anyhow, Erik's young and hot, obviously love-interest material.

**Marge** – la Sorelli; she can actually dance.  
**Serena** – Mme Giry; see below  
**Phil** – Nadir; isn't it cute?

**Mme. Giry** – Raoul; he's got the perfect hair length for a woman! Well, that came out wrong…  
**Karly** – Christine; certainly shrill enough.  
**Bingo** – Philippe; same level of singing ability.

-------------------------------------------------

**Authors' Notes: **Unfortunately, Elizabeth was off cavorting in England for the last two weeks, so this chapter was written by Eloise. Although the authors' note is being written by Elizabeth. Anyway, I just thought you should know that the bits about "sexy Scottish brogues" are entirely Eloise's twisted brain. Apparently, they are her weakness.

**Eloise's Note:** so not true about the Scottish brogue! Elizabeth's just a pathological liar. She can't help it. Ignore her. Really.

Next chapter will be the new opera!


End file.
